Dirty Talk - Advanced

by Shelly Lomax
Now that you should hopefully have awakened your partner’s libido, it is time to put on that final touch. Check out our Dirty Talk Basics guide (if you haven't already) first, then read on below to refine and enhance those skills. Keep in mind the basic guidelines; like deep breaths and sounds, your words should also be in sync with the rhythm you have just created. The inhale breath should almost always be heard by your partner and you should speak in the "sexy voice" on the exhale breath. Enunciate all your words to your best degree.

To begin you should focus on these following questions: Which of my partner’s skills or attributes turn me on? How do they make me feel? How am I feeling right now? Dirty talking is mostly concerned with momentous sayings, so you should try to let your instinct carry you. If you feel that your partner is hot, call it as it is: "you are so hot!" If you feel that their touch makes your genitals quiver, say it: "Your touch makes my cock/pussy quiver." If you feel that you are very hard/wet, state it: "I’m so hard/wet right now."

However, a good rule of thumb is to avoid the word "because." You are not writing an essay question. This will avoid sounding dull and it will also add urgency. In a sense, you may be cramming a long portion of a sentence in an exhaling breath so this forces you to say it very quickly, which emphasizes that urge. For example: "You laying there naked makes my cock/pussy hard/wet because I find you to be so irresistible." You may be feeling this, but this is a bit long. Try separating the fragments with breaths. Long inhale, "You lying there naked," quick inhale “Makes my cock/pussy hard/wet" inhale "You’re irresistible." This style sounds more natural than mechanical, which is the intention of good dirty talk.

Another added bonus of separating the sentence is that it allows you to think on the spot. You can simply state something with out wondering whether it’s long enough, or why you feel that way. State the phrase, breathe, and add to it.

To turn up the dirty talking a bit, you should focus on this question: What do I want to happen to my partner or to me? Do not be intimidated. Think about things like foreplay, oral, anal, the use of toys, different positions, being spanked, etc. The answers to this question can be transformed into very naughty phrases. These are all within you, for only you know what you want. Ok, so you can cheat if you really need to: if you draw a complete blank, watching adult films for inspiration is always a possibility. Nevertheless, you should look deep within yourself and bare all your dirty fantasies. (Long inhale) "You just got out of the shower (couple of breaths), I just want to fuck you until you can't walk anymore (inhale), Cum/spray all over you (inhale) ... (quivering exhale/inhale), get you all dirty again."

After letting out some of your wants and desires, you may want to consider adding some more emphasis on certain subjects. One option is to add those initial sounds as previously mentioned. "Uh (inhale), I want to eat out your pussy/suck your dick (inhale), aah." Repetition is used to emphasize the importance of an action. "Pound me! (Long inhale). Come on (quick inhale), pound me! (Inhale), pound me harder!" You can also use adjectives and adverbs. "My nipples want your soft lips to slowly suck them and then bite them hard."

Using singular adjectives or adverbs can also be a relief from always hearing the combination of an adjective before a noun. Make sure to stress the last syllable in the word to create more of an impact. For example, the word "wet" should be pronounced as "wet-te." (Long inhale) "I love it when I/you push my/your cock so far into you/me (inhale), I feel it touching all your/my walls inside (inhale), warm (inhale), wet (inhale), moist (inhale), tight."

To avoid sounding redundant with vocabulary, attempt using metaphors, such as "I want to feel my/your essence leaking out of me." For a more aggressive touch, using cursing can be quite thrilling. Compare “You are such a great lay" to "Holy shit! You are such a great fucking lay!" Other examples are "Fucking bang me harder, bitch/bastard," "Fucking smack my God-damned ass," and "Jesus, it just feels so bloody good that I want to fucking cum all over you." Here you are able to speak louder because these phrases tend to be more aggressive.

Be sensitive to your partner's responses - some people may find it incredibly erotic (in the heat of the moment) to be referred to in an unusual (perhaps even degrading) way, such as a "my little whore" or "my dirty bastard", but others may be very offended. If you sense shock (or feel it yourself), then talk about it afterwards and re-assure each other that it is just 'play'. In any case (as with anything new) start off slowly, monitor the response - and adjust accordingly.

Role-playing can also be considered a section of dirty talk because even though you may be acting, there is massive dialogue. Role-playing basically concentrates on acting on your or your partner’s fantasies. This tends to be more difficult because you need to fully understand your fantasies by knowing the role of both you and your partner. For example, you need to know if your partner ought to be dumb, wild, shy, mean, etc. An easy angle to start with is the dominant and submissive roles. You choose one of these roles while your partner must choose the opposing role or vice versa. The dominant figure tends to be more aggressive in their wants and desires. They must take charge: command and demand. "I am going to handcuff you to the bed, and you better not squeal." "Spread your legs now!" There are two sides of being submissive: the willing and the refusing. As a willing figure, you may decide to either solely perform the actions or perform with the purpose of liking them.

If you are a refusing figure, you may decide to perform the commands while begging for mercy or perform after intense threats. In a case you are finding that your partner is having difficulty taking on the role of a dominant figure, you can then ask defiant questions. "What are you going to do if I refuse to even kiss you, never mind suck your cock / eat out your pussy?" If the dominant partner is still not responding, then you answer the questions. "Will he/she smack me, or pin me down?" Here the submissive partner is offering material that the dominant partner would hopefully be able to work with. There are many situations where dirty talking can be used in role playing: nurse and her not-so-sick patient, the student begging for a better grade, a master and his slave, Cleopatra seducing Caesar, popular cheerleader with the average guy, etc. Remember that the trick to having a great role-playing session is to act out exactly what you crave as long as it is to a safe degree.

It is absolutely necessary to practice dirty talking with a partner that you are comfortable with. This will allow you to say exactly what you are striving for and in the end satisfy your wants and needs. Everyone has the potential of being a great dirty talker as long as you remember to work with your own instincts and try to be as natural as possible. The techniques and tips here are not etched in stone so feel free to add your personal style to them and to focus on your partner's feedback. Please keep in mind that practice makes perfect and that variety is the spice of life.

Advanced Tantric Sex Secrets

There are many different tantric practices that aren’t explicitly sexual; rather, they focus on things like internal energy. During intense arousal or orgasm, a person can reach a mental state that is very still with an effect similar to that of meditation. By extending your lovemaking long enough to stimulate erogenous zones, areas of the body that are most receptive to erotic touch, you bring energy into them, thus generating a highly charged physical response. This is where Advanced Tantric Sex Secrets comes in...

Summary
Advanced Tantric Sex Secrets is an adult educational video that is part of the Loving Sex Series created by the Alexander Institute. It is presented in the form of a very intimate couple’s tantric sex class. The hosts direct the students in the practice of tantric techniques and provide commentary and guidance throughout the show’s duration.

The topic begins with ‘Key Concepts in Tantric Lovemaking' and follows with a thorough analysis of the 3 categories of erogenous zones … primary, secondary and tertiary. Once each group of highly sensitive body parts is explored, they jump to ‘Putting the Practice Together‘, where the couples are given sequences of erogenous zones to excite. ‘Positions for Tantric Sex’ examines two classic female-dominant sexual positions that can rouse incredible erotic energy. The video ends with ‘Concluding Thoughts’, where the couples share their experience of practicing tantric sex.

Presentation (8.5/10)
Mark Michaels and Patricia Dodson, the authors of the book ‘The Essence of Tantric Sensuality’, host the video. Their book is an in-depth examination of Tantric philosophy; it’s was a winner in the Health: Sexuality category of the National Best Books 2007 Awards, as well as a finalist in the Eastern Religions category of the same contest.

The segment of tantric sex principles that that they focus on is specific and instructive enough in order to give a viewer a good set of tools to work with. I often see instructional videos that are too broad and don’t give enough range of skills to practice within a particular category. This presentation did a good job of balancing the right amount of detail to communicate.

Advanced Tantric Sex Secrets is explicit yet tasteful. I say tasteful not because it avoids showing too much; rather it displays a lot of eroticism in the way it pays careful attention to the profound intensity that can be reached. They set aside enough time to clearly demonstrate how to perform each skill – it doesn’t seem like the couple are rushed or uncomfortable and they appear to be very genuine in wanting to please one another.

Content Quality (9/10)
Advanced Tantric Sex Secrets would be well received well by a diverse range of viewers because it combines candid coaching with energetically charged sexual scenes. There is a lot that people can pick up from this production, whether they are clueless or curious, or even already very capable at passionate lovemaking.

An average person would feel confident about trying and even integrating this information into their regular sexual practice. Whether you’re inspired to try stimulating a particular erogenous zone or launch into some of the more complex zone patterns that they include, you’ll certainly walk away from this video with a new sense of awareness and admiration for the level of consciousness that can be reached through sex.

Sex Appeal (8.5/10)
I met up with some girlfriends for some wine and chit chat and decided to bring along some of the adult videos I needed to review. It was so entertaining to hear their diverse opinions but there was one thing that everyone agreed to hands down; this video was by far the hottest one. There we all were, heads cocked to one side murmuring ‘whoa’ and ‘hot’ in fascinated rapture, while our wine glasses drained increasingly quickly.

This video is very realistic and extremely sensual. The couples seem like they are genuinely getting turned on and make sincere efforts to pleasure one another. What really made it sexy was that you got to see their slow sensual progression with each part of the body and you could sense the anticipation build up not only in the actors, but yourself too! You will definitely want to replay and refer back to Advanced Tantric Sex Secrets.

Video Quality (7.5/10)
The video quality is reasonable. The participants are always in the shot and they make use of different camera angles. The filming doesn’t overly favour copulation shots to the actual joining of the couple, which is often the case with many porn movies. You can still see, for example, how the demonstrators perform fellatio on one another, but it is important to include the participants’ responses to the stimulus.

Audio Quality (7/10)
The music is the signature Alexander Institute sound, which is similar to a single guitar, strumming slowly. It was used to transition to different segments and as a background for some of the voiceovers. I love that you could hear the moans and the slight intakes of breath that the actors make because it really adds to the overall sensuality of the presentation. The audio quality was fair but certain scenes sounded a bit tinny; fortunately, it was quite subtle.

Extra Features (5.5/10)
The extra features are the standard ones that are included in the Loving Sex productions: tips from a sex coach, general sexuality information and web links. There are previews available for all of the Loving Sex productions as well as a bonus scene. The bonus feature is a 15 minute scene from “Ultimate Massage”, which features a British lady giving her male partner a genital massage. It seems like it isn’t a very new production and, frankly, is a bit cheesy. However, the scene has good material showing how to lead in from a massage to a hand job.

Overall Score (7.7/10)
This is one of my favorite adult educational videos to date. It’s got the right mix of information, sensuality and impact. Although the extra features and audio/video quality didn’t blow me away, the content and genuineness made up for it many times over.

To Order
If you would like to order, or more know about Advanced Tantric Sex Secrets, please Click Here .

Menstrual Sex

by Shelly Lomax
One of our drivers asked me the other day; "Do sex and menstruation mix?" That's a good question. Well, despite the perception of some that a menstruating woman is literally and/or figuratively ‘unclean’, many people are more than happy to explore the option of menstrual sex. This article will delve into what you’ve always wanted to know it; why it’s hot, why it’s not, and everything in between.

The Taboo Factor
The social taboos involving Menstruation (‘menses’ or ‘period’) and sex are far-reaching; there are many belief systems across the world that ascribe to a variety of perceptions and rituals related to it. Some philosophies forbid Sexual Intercourse with a woman who is on her period, while others recommend that during menses women ought not to receive communion or enter into a place of worship. During pre-Judaic times women were isolated to red tents during the course of their menses, hindering them from participating in most activities, including sex. It was also common for religions to mandate cleansing rituals to be performed after a woman had ended her period.

Some judge that these traditions come across as oppressive signs of male dominated societies, while others perceive them as a celebration of the sacredness of the event. There are many instances in history that suggest taboos related to menstrual bleeding, but the true origin of these beliefs has likely been lost to antiquity (Read more about it.).

Statistically speaking, women who choose to have sexual intercourse during their periods have been found to have the following positively correlated characteristics; they are young, highly educated, Caucasian, and possess a high economic status. Although this data is based on very preliminary research, it does indicate that women who possess certain economic and intellectual freedom feel less hindered in making the choice to have intercourse during menses.

Why Are People Turned Off By Menstrual Sex?
Sometimes, the last thing on a menstruating woman’s mind is to have sex with her partner; she feels irritable, bloated, pained and/or tired. On the other hand, there are women who become extremely sexual because of their surge in hormones, and find that sex is the best physical release. A woman's sexual partner may be positive or indifferent to this physical state, but it just as common that he/she is reluctant (or completely unwilling) to enter into sexual union. The reality is that her partner’s aversion to sex has nothing to do with her attractiveness or sexuality; his or her preferences simply vary. Let’s look at the pros and cons for sex during menses as they apply to both men and women.

Pros
When it comes to sex, a woman’s desire fluctuates over her menstrual cycle, and research has shown that it is highest at the time of ovulation (when the eggs are released from the ovaries). In recent years, another peak period has been uncovered. Preliminary studies are beginning to provide evidence that women demonstrate a higher sex drive just before, or just after, menstruating. This information presents an excellent opportunity for couples to discuss whether intercourse during menses works for them.

Women’s’ bodies are usually very sensitive to touch, and the physical sensations that they experience during menses are greatly heightened. Although not every menstruating woman will be receptive to the idea of having you kiss and fondle her all over, there are some who consider menstrual sex as the best sex ever. Moreover, the wetness of the vagina can feel delightful, and gives you the option to skip foreplay if you want to! Some people consider menstrual sex a pro because they believe that a woman can’t get pregnant. Think again! Although the chances are slim, it is still possible for a woman to spontaneously ovulate a second time during her cycle.

Sex is great way to manage menstrual cramps. Female hormones and prostaglandins are released upon orgasm, inducing a contraction in the uterus. This is similar to those that cause the uterine lining to be shed during menstruation. This physical contraction (along with climax!) can help take the edge off any discomfort a woman may be experiencing. It is commonly supposed that having sex during menses can also end the cycle early, although there haven’t been medical studies to verify this (Read more about it.). The uterine contraction induced by orgasm can make blood run faster, so be prepared for heavier menstrual flow post coitus.

Cons
Religious and social taboos regarding menstrual sex can certainly be limiting factors for both men and women, but there are other reasons why they might be disinclined to do so. Some couples don’t like to have sex because it limits the positions they use; they consciously avoid those that cause excessive blood flow, such as women on top. The odor might smell unpleasant to some people, and others don’t like that menstrual fluid has such a sticky texture; the mess it can create is also a turn-off for some.

There are a few cons related to blood phobias. Consider those who feel faint when they see or even think about blood. Some men can be very uncomfortable with the thought and/or sight of blood on their own fingers, legs, and penis; the same thing applies when they see a woman with menstrual fluid between her legs. Some men avoid menstrual sex because they get the uneasy impression that it looks as though they’ve hurt their partner during intercourse.

A significant concern that many people have concerns the incidence of STDs/STIs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases/Infections) when a woman is menstruating. Preliminary medical findings do show that women do become more susceptible to infection during this time. There have been studies done that show a correlation between self reported STD/STI incidence and sexual activity during menses. However, further epidemiologic studies need to be performed in order to bolster these findings. . If the woman is a carrier, an increased risk also exists of transmitting Hepatitis B, C, or HIV through the blood. If you have any doubt about the STD/STI status of your sexual partner, the best and safest advice is to use a condom.

What’s the least messy way to have Menstrual Sex?
Most couples avoid having sex when the female is menstruating because of the potential mess it makes. Here are a couple of great tips to make the clean up easy. Keep a towel or a wet cloth nearby and when both of you finish, give yourselves a quick wipe down and then go for a shower. The reason you shouldn’t linger is because menstrual blood is pigmented and dries quite quickly; if you do linger, you’ll need to pay a bit more attention to washing it completely off. At any rate, keep your mind off the mess and focus on enjoying the post-sex scrub down.

A woman’s period, not to mention her mood, is most intense during the first couple of days of menses. It helps if you aim for sex before she begins her cycle or after the first couple of days are over with. If her flow is quite heavy, you can opt to have sex in the shower. If not, she can wear a tampon up until the point you both want to make love, then remove it, and apply lubricant if needed. A dark colored towel will come in handy. Some couples also utilize a Condom for the man and/or a Diaphragm for the female.

How to Get Each Other Off if You Choose Not to Have Intercourse
If the vagina is ‘closed for maintenance’, there are oodles of ways to get yourself and a lover off. The best way to start spark something sexual is by offering to give her a Massage. Releasing tension in the lower back, neck, or shoulders may be all she needs to get into the mood; just be mindful of the pressure that you use and ask her to guide you in the right direction.

After the massage, there are a few different ways to approach the situation. Being on her period is a great opportunity to relish simpler intimate pleasures such as kissing, caressing, fondling, and cuddling. If she doesn’t feel like peeling off her clothes, you could try and get each other off while you’re fully dressed. This can be done via a combination of mutual masturbation, hand jobs, or sex toys. If you both want to get more physical, perhaps try having Anal Sex while she’s wearing a tampon. You could also try a form of ‘outercourse’ called Inter-Mammary Intercourse, which basically means that the man’s penis is rubbed between a woman’s breasts to simulate vaginal intercourse.

No matter how you go about it, remember to experiment with different types of stimulation as well as sexual moods. A woman experiencing fluctuating hormones may feel frisky, feisty, or even get the desire for hard sex.

Final Thoughts
All in all, every woman’s body varies in cycle length, hormone activity and desire. If you pay attention to the unique needs of your female partner, menstruation and sex can mix after all. Don’t be afraid to experiment, it’s all part of the great sexual experience … so give it a go and enjoy!

Magicspot Decadent

by Shelly Lomax

California Exotics Novelties is big in the business of sex toys and the Magicspot Decadent was made with fun and originality in mind. The Magicspot really does hit the spot; it's a vibrating dildo with a cock-ring that you can slip a vibrating bullet into. It's a higher quality, good looking pleasurizer.

Presentation
I was pleasantly surprised with the quality of the Magicspot; I really liked the way it looked. The Magicspot uses 4 AA batteries and features an On/Off switch; this is convenient and more preferable than scrolling through multiple speeds to turn a toy off. It has a clear shaft with 3 rows/dials of rotating beads that stimulate the inside of your vagina.

The Magicspot is basically a vibrating dildo with a cock-ring on; it comes with a removable vibrating bullet that you can slide into one of the slots that are fixed to the shaft. The control center lights up with red LED lights and you control the vibrating bullet independently from the shaft. The function button lets you experience the 3 settings: 'continuous', 'back and forth fast' and 'back and forth slow'.


Materials

The Magicspot is not waterproof and the material does not emit any strong odor. The packaging was basic but easy to open. The cleaning process requires rinsing with warm water and non irritating soap. Don't immerse it in water because you'll flood the battery compartment. It wasn’t a quiet vibrating dildo but it also wasn’t the loudest I’ve tried. I like that the controls and speed were changed by a button click rather than a push dial.

Features
The Magicspot was easy to use and the speeds and functions were easy to change while at play. The shaft has a comfortably-sized girth. The bullet had a fairly strong vibration but the shaft didn't have as must intensity. The vibrating bullet can be used on its own; this provides more flexibility for use.

The part of the cock-ring that rests against the clitoris had little nubs on it, which transmitted the vibe very nicely; I’ve never had the pleasure of having a cock-ring/removable bullet combined into a dildo and I was really pleased with that attribute. This sets the Magicspot apart from other vibrating dildos and makes it a worthwhile purchase.

Critique

My only real beef is that the box says that it is made of silicone. I'm no novice when it comes to sex toy materials and my first impression was that it looked like it was made of a medium soft jelly material. This of course poses a problem when needing to choose the right lubricant. Because I'm sensitive to materials other than silicone and TPR, I figured I'd soon find out. Although I was skeptical, I did not get any irritation from the materials on the Magicspot.

Final Thoughts
California Exotics Novelties’ Magicspot Decadent is a bang for your buck and could bestow lasting appeal if it’s taken care of properly. This toy is comfortable, fun and in my books, it’s very much a pleasurizer. Turn off the lights and light up a Magicspot. I rate it a 7.5/10

To Order
If you would like to order the Magicspot Decadent, or would like more information, please Click Here .

Spin the Bottle - Sex Games Series

by Shelly Lomax

Object
The object of the game is simple: it’s to randomly kiss or make out with others playing the game. If you’ve always wanted to know what it felt like to smooch with someone in particular, here’s your chance.

Number of Players
The more players you can gather, the better; more people adds variety and heightens anticipation. If you don’t, it’ll quickly progress from a saucy adult party game to a small orgy.

What You’ll Need
You’ll need one bottle, preferably empty; otherwise, if your spin goes out of control, getting whacked with it will hurt.

Ideal Participants
Players should be open-minded and have fresh breath! It helps if they’re relatively similar in good looks and/or great at making out; keep this in mind when you formulate a guest list.

Couples must be willing to play without jealousy or insecurity; if either one of them feels uncomfortable about players kissing their other half, they need to remove themselves immediately.

How to Play
This is a party game based on the one many have played as kids. Everyone arranges themselves in a circle sitting on, or close, to the floor. Players take turns spinning the bottle; whoever it points closest to is the one they must kiss. SexInfo101’s adaptation has one optional rule; if you land on the same sex, you also have to kiss them!

You can play the game by going around the circle consecutively to let each person have a turn. Some of you may have also used a more arbitrary method of taking turns, where the person who the bottle lands on goes next.

Depending on how adventurous the group is, another option is to ‘up the ante’ every so many turns, so that (say) ‘a kiss’ then becomes ‘a kiss & a stroke’ of a particular body part, followed by ‘a kiss & fondle inside the clothing, followed by one removing another’s article of clothing … and so on. You are only limited by your imagination…

Average Penis Size

The age-old question, "Am I well hung?" Well, before going on to see where you stand, or should we say hang, remember that size isn’t everything. Most women prefer a man with a less then average Penis and great at Cunnilingus, to a man with a larger penis and no skills. Furthermore, you should never worry about your size; it will only lead to anxieties and potentially a variety of sexual dysfunctions.

If you are racing forward to find out what the average penis size is to see if you are ok, stop. Read the first paragraph again. The purpose of this article is not so that men can come and see if they are “big enough”, it‘s purpose is to satisfy curiosity, and to reiterate to all the self conscious males out there that size is not everything.

One of the reasons that men are so self-conscious about this has to do with illusions. When men are in the locker room, they can’t help but glance around the room to see how they measure up. Unfortunately, there is a very different angle looking down than across the room, so men become paranoid that they are too small. Also, a man’s limp size has very little indication to his erect size. Furthermore, most men start getting paranoid about it before they have finished growing.

That being said (hopefully not ignored) penis size consists of two components, length and circumference. Although most studies in this area vary slightly in the findings, the average erect penis length is 5.5 to 6.5 inches, and the average circumference is 4.5 to 5 inches.

Penis Length
Your erection length is defined as the linear distance along the dorsal (top) side of the erect penis, from the mons veneris to the tip of the glans. In non-medical jargon, your penis is measured in a straight, or for some arced, line on the topside of the erect penis, from where your belly meets the shaft to the tip of your penis. Take multiple measurements over the course of a few days and then average the values. Since your erections can vary slightly depending on your level of arousal, mood, room temperature, and even the duration since your last sexual encounter, averaging out a few measurements will let you get a more accurate read.

Penis Circumference
Penis circumference is defined as the linear distance around the widest part of the erect penis. Whether you use a piece of string or a fabric ruler, you should wrap it around the widest part of your penis, one time. If using string, make sure it is not stretchy, and mark the string at the correct spot and then measure the portion with a ruler. As with penis length, this should be done over a few days and the result averaged out.

Does Size Matter?
The second most famous question; "Is it the size of the ship, or the motion of the ocean?"... Both are correct, so yes, size does matter. Anyone who tells you differently is not being completely truthful. As covered in other sections, the majority of a woman's nerve endings are in the first couple inches of her vagina, so exactly how much size matters is a controversial topic. Most women agree that an average size penis, along with an understanding of Her Genital Regions will get the job done. In fact, they would prefer that to a large penis as it could come along with a lot of pain for the first few times together for them. For those dreaming for an 8+ inch penis, just remember that it doesn’t always come in as handy as you think. Having a large penis decreases your chances of your partner being willing to have Anal Intercourse, as well as Deep-throating.

by Shelly Lomax