Ideal (Personal Massager)

by Shelly Lomax
Sex Counselor for Trimet

The Ideal has the very discreet signature shape of the Natural Contours product line; however, the noise level totally gives it away...

Description and Materials
The Ideal is comprised of an ABS plastic body and a soft silicone spring head. Latex free as well as phthalates free, the safety of this product’s material is definitely an encouraging feature. The dimensions are 8 inches long with an approximate diameter of 2.5 inch wide; it feels a tad heavy but its wand can be gripped with the whole hand. The Ideal Massager has two very powerful speed settings, but with only the one vibe setting - continuous with no pulsation. The head of the massager is spring loaded and bends from side to side very easily.

The unique design of the handle threw me off at first, but I soon discovered its true purpose; it’s a very ergonomic and comfortable way to hold the vibrator when there is an attachment on it. Although I’m left-handed, I found that the handle was comfortable to hold in either hand; moreover, the vibe speed switch was easy to access.

Packaging
I wasn’t swept away by the packaging, but I did appreciate that it was tasteful as well as simple. It didn’t come with a storage bag but I did like that the wand fit easily into its molded container in the box. There weren’t a lot of instructions included but, then again, the wand is really easy to pick up and start using. Be sure that you charge it for the minimum amount of time before using it.

How it Works

The Ideal can be used to massage all parts of the body as well as stimulate the erogenous zones. I found that I loved how the Ideal felt when I used it to massage my erogenous zones as well as my arms, legs and buttocks; however, it produced an extremely uncomfortable sensation when it came too close to my spine, shoulders and back muscles. Even when set to low, the vibration was so strong that it felt like it rattled my eyeballs and jangled my skeleton. If you want to give someone a sensual massage with this device, make sure you use a gentle hand and stick to the extremities and soft parts, unless that person happens to enjoy a much more vigorous touch (as a man might).

Who it’s For
The Ideal would be an excellent choice for a person who wants to be discreet about the sex toys that they own; even if the Ideal was discovered among someone’s things, it wouldn’t necessarily sound the alarm bells as to its potential sexual purpose. Further to that, the Ideal’s incredibly intensive stimulation would be excellent for a person who doesn’t get enough stimuli from an average vibrator: its vibe is very powerful and for some, this is exactly what some people need to experience orgasm.

My first impression was that the Ideal would be a perfect item for someone whose taste was more ‘vanilla’. It has no baubles, no tricks and no flashy lights. Although it is incredibly unintimidating and highly intuitive, I would be concerned that the sheer strength of the buzz would scare a novice off sex toys completely.

Critique
My evaluation of this item is somewhat mixed… There were a few features that I absolutely loved about the Ideal. Firstly, it doesn’t run on batteries and can be plugged into the wall to be recharged. Secondly, its sleek and inconspicuous shape will delight those who want to keep their play to themselves or, alternatively, those who merely don’t dig the ‘bunnies’ or the pearls of other vibrators.

I was very disappointed that the head rattled loudly when it wasn’t held upright; I found this really frustrating, particularly since the Ideal was already quite loud. This was my first experience with a spring-head personal massager and I found it to be less than satisfactory. It was unfortunate because there was so much potential for this product to be a standard part of a person’s pleasure chest. This is definitely one I would warn a friend about before buying.

Back on the positive side, the G-Plus attachment significantly made up for the Ideal’s drawbacks. I found myself totally drawn to using it once I had gotten the add-on; in fact I actually picked this one over some of my usual favorites on a number of occasions. I think that it would useful for the Ideal to come with at least one attachment included with the wand. Lucky for me, I had received the two of them together anyway but an average person may not have bothered buying a complementary item if they didn’t enjoy their experience with the underlying product. As they’re currently sold separately, I highly recommend that if you purchase the Ideal get it together with the G-Plus attachment.

Final Thoughts
I hate to give a product with such potential such a low score, but I have to rate it a 4.5/10 on its own and 7.5/10 when used with an attachment. Despite the fact that it has an excellent design, it is heavy, noisy and isn’t set with a better range of vibration strength. You’ll get more of a return on your money when you add an optional add-on.

Pleasuring the Pregnant Woman

by Shelly Lomax A licensed Sex Therapist for Trimet of Portland

Pregnancy is an exciting period of immense change. But, did you know that ‘expecting’ can also be a phase of major desire? As her body transforms to bring new life to the world, a woman can experience incredible arousal and intense receptiveness to physical stimulation. We’ll explain what happens to her sex drive as she advances through the three stages of fertile development. We’ll also discuss the importance of self-pleasuring and how it cultivates a deeper connection within a female’s changing body.

Pregnancy and Desire
Pregnancy can affect a woman’s libido by intensifying her response to physical touch and sexual stimulation. Much of this is brought about by a surge in the production of pregnancy hormones. This effect will introduce many changes in a woman’s physical and emotional state.

She will notice differences to her body early on in her pregnancy: morning sickness; bouts of extreme tiredness; weight gain; breast tenderness, sensitivity and engorgement; an increase in blood flow throughout the reproductive regions; a sense of pelvic fullness; and that genitals feel sensitive and engorged.

She’ll also become aware of changes to her state of mind. Once women are pregnant, they can become more vulnerable to mood fluctuations and suffer an inability to concentrate. Some experience a euphoric sense of well-being, whereas others feel self-conscious and uncomfortable with the changes happening to their bodies. She might also feel nervousness mixed with excitement, which many mom’s-to-be experience. Some women experience a sense of sexual liberation because they no longer have to worry about ‘getting’ pregnant; this can have a very positive impact on their sex lives, as they are free of anxiety and can just enjoy sex.

Sex Comes in Stages
Once you’re expecting, what worked for your love life in the past goes out the window. Sensations that used to drive a woman wild during pre-pregnancy days could completely irritate her today. This section will explain how she’s feeling at every stage of her development; we’ll also provide advice to tackle each trimester.

First Trimester
This is the period when women begin to adapt to the changes taking place within their bodies. You can have sex as you normally would, because the fetus isn’t large enough to physically hinder her. A woman can lie on her back without difficulty, enjoy a variety of positions, and comfortably receive deep penetration.

What to watch for

This trimester’s biggest adversary is morning sickness and, unluckily for some women, it can last all day. Statistics show that as many as eighty percent are plagued by some degree of nausea and vomiting during the early phase of pregnancy. Trying to cope with it is frustrating, and the symptoms can inflict emotional as well as physical pain.

If she’s struggling with queasiness, the last thing she’ll want is sex. However, it’s important that a couple maintain some form of intimate interaction. Not only does it nurture your connection with one another, there’s a high likelihood that it can diminish some of her symptoms. If it feels like nothing is working, take intercourse out of the equation and start with something very simple. Sensual stimulation, whether it comes in the form of nipple stimulation or foot massage, may be just the thing to ease moodiness, decreased energy and nausea.

Some women begin to worry about having to perform sexually when they’re pregnant. This could be due to a variety of reasons such as: they feel insecure and unattractive; or, they feel physically uncomfortable. Receiving extra encouragement and attention can alleviate any undue stress that she has about sex. A valuable approach is for her sexual partner to do a bit more work in the bedroom and, say, perform a sensual massage, or carry out an attentive session of oral sex.

Second Trimester
Once she has overcome the trials of the first trimester, good things await in the second. There’s a high probability that a pregnant woman will feel great, both mentally and physically. She’ll also experience increased libido and better personal lubrication. In fact, sexual arousal can become so heightened that some women experience the best clitoral and g-spot orgasms of their lives. In addition, they may climax much more quickly than before. Part of the reason for this is that the blood flow to the genitals and nipples increases up to fifty percent. As a result, the sexual organs increase in size and become even more disposed to stimulation.

Some women experience a huge desire to initiate with their partners. On the other hand, her partner may be less apt to want to engage her sexually for reasons such as feeling the baby kick, or not wanting to hurt the baby. Do not worry! The baby is protected is the uterus, buffered from physical contact by the fluid in the amniotic sac. As long as the doctor doesn’t suspect any risk factors, such as susceptibility toward preterm labor, it is safe to engage in intercourse.

What to Watch For

Later into the second trimester couples may have to get more creative with their sexual positions. Deep penetration may begin to feel uncomfortable. It is also common for a pregnant woman to experience discomfort while lying on her back because the weight of the uterus can cut off her blood supply. This can cause shortness of breath, a sense of anxiety, and can affect her musculature.

Third Trimester
A woman’s sex drive generally stays high in the third trimester. However, sexual activity can diminish due to the busyness of preparing for the baby. If it becomes difficult to find opportunities to engage sexually as a couple, both women and men may turn to self pleasuring as a way to relax and stay connected to their sexual self.

A benefit (for the woman) of continuing to experience orgasms during the third phase of pregnancy is that it can help prepare the body for labor. Through sensual activity, additional blood flow is directed throughout the reproductive regions. Not only does this nourish the area and allow it to relax, it generates gentle contractions in the uterus. However, exercise some caution when orgasming during the last few weeks of this trimester. The body becomes so highly sensitive to Oxytocin, one of the hormones released during orgasm, that it can spontaneously go into labor.

An interesting technique to practice this term is Perineal Massage, that is manipulation of the area between the vagina and the anus. Using massage to stretch the tissue helps to decrease the risk of tearing and episiotomy during labor. You can read more about this in an upcoming article.

What to Watch For

Sexual positioning becomes more challenging in this last period of pregnancy. Side lying and penetration from behind will be your ‘go-to’ positions, because they don’t put painful pressure on the back and abdomen. Her heart is working harder to pump more blood to the uterus which, by the end of her term, takes up approximately one fifth of her blood supply. Because of this, women get easily very winded in this 3rd trimester, so positions that are less demanding will be welcomed by the expecting female. Some couples find that face-to-face sex poses can be uncomfortable or even a bit distracting because they can feel the baby’s movements.

You may have heard that by the time you reach the thirty seventh week, sex can induce labor. Receiving semen through direct contact with the cervix can help it relax and dilate. When you go into the hospital to have pregnancy induced, a component of the medicine contains synthetic prostaglandins. Interestingly, the natural form of prostaglandins contained in semen is actually 25% more effective at opening up the female’s cervix. Given that intercourse can speed things along, seek your doctor’s guidance as to whether or not it’s safe for you to do.

Self Pleasuring
Because of the enormous change that the body undergoes during pregnancy, it may come to feel unfamiliar, as though it doesn’t belong to you anymore! Not only is masturbating a great way to relax, it can help you reconnect with your transforming body. You can rediscover what feels pleasurable and, in turn, communicate that to your partner. See our Female Masturbation Guide for tips and techniques.

Final Thoughts
Whether you’re single or in a relationship, it is important for a woman to do whatever possible to stay orgasmic. Maintaining a healthy level of sexual energy will help an expecting woman stay connected and satisfied through each stage of her pregnancy. Check out our {Sex during Pregnancy} article for a practical guide and great tips for pleasuring the pregnant woman.

Superbe Personal Massager

by Shelly Lomax


Of all the Natural Contours products I’ve tried, the Superbe is in the running with the Liberté for 1st place - it was F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S. The soft curves achieve ergonomic harmony with the female form; it’s no wonder that this toy was made for women, by women.

Description and Materials
The Superbe comes in a fun, bright yellow color. Its profile is curved like the shape of an “L”; from a head-on view, it’s got a wider base that tapers and rounds over into a thick curved tip. The impact resistant case measures 4 ¾ inches in length and its width graduates from 1 ¼ to 2 ½ inches. The body is made of a smooth ABS plastic that glides deliciously across your erogenous zones. The rigidity of the material provides women with the accuracy to hone in on the spots that need indulging.

The advantage this particular shape offers is that it’s discreet. This makes it easy to keep around the house, particularly if there are curious hands rustling through your so-called hiding spots; it’s also great for travel.

How It Works
The Superbe offers 1 continuous vibe function with 3 speed options to choose from. It fits comfortably in the palm of your hand and feels really lightweight, even with the 2 AA batteries inside. The battery compartment can be accessed by pushing on the depression and sliding the cover right off. It’s rather fussy to close the cover so make sure that your line it up right to put it back on. The power switch is a slider and is located on the topside of the toy. It’s easy enough to change speeds while you’re at play, but I would have preferred it to be located closer to the wider end of the toy.

In terms of power, the vibration that was delivered was not really as precise as, say, a pocket rocket - but I was surprised as the level of accuracy it did provide. I found that the vibration didn’t numb my hand, because Superbe’s vibe was more concentrated on the tip side. However, there was still enough juice delivered throughout the rest of the toy to be able to enjoy every inch of its curves. To be clear, this toy isn’t exactly the most powerful vibrator, but it did produce enough to satisfy those who prefer intensity ranging from very gentle to medium strength.

Packaging/Storage
This pleasure device came in the signature Natural Contours wrapping - a compact black cardboard box, folded to effectively display the toy, and a semi transparent clear plastic sleeve. The Sleeve was tastefully embellished with pictures of the Superbe and a few written features and benefits. 2 AA batteries were included in the package, as were operating and care instructions. There wasn’t anything included to store the toy in, so get yourself a satin or velvet storage bag; a lint free sock will do in a pinch.

Audibility

Although the Superbe was advertised as having a low noise motor, I was disappointed with the loud sound it made. The mechanism had an annoying buzz and the batteries rattled against the body of the toy. It was really not up to scratch in the audibility department. I hope that in future products Natural Contours comes up with a way to design the body of their toys to synthesize better with their low noise Japanese motors.

Pleasure Factor
It’s all in the shape. Once you get reasonably lubricated, turn on the toy and experiment with the sensations created by this ergonomic massager. You’ll notice that the Superbe fits comfortably over the pubic mound and its tip rests teasingly close to the vaginal opening. The sensation of rubbing the toy back and forth from clitoris down to the vagina will actually begin to feel like someone’s satisfying fingers. Even just letting the toy lay across the pubice without any extra handling on your part will feel good.

My absolute favorite thing to do with the Superbe was to penetrate my vagina. If the width doesn’t overwhelm you, you’re on the road to some serious pleasure. The rigidity of the toy gives you the control to manoeuvre it more precisely. The long curve is downright fantastic in stimulating the G-spot, particularly if yours isn’t extremely deep in your vagina. The other aspect I love is that you can twist the toy around while it’s inside you to reach sensitive spots that are off to the right or the left; every woman’s body is different and so too is the exact positioning of her G-spot. The Superbe is the tool that can help you explore the intricacies of your pleasure spots and in my opinion, was amazing to locate the G-spot with.

Cleaning
This toy is not designed to be submersed in water. The manufacturer recommends that you clean it with a washcloth and mild soap. You can towel it off but let it completely air dry before storing it away.

Critique
In the last year, I’ve reviewed many toys; many have caught my interest because they were well crafted, multi functional or had some other unique or unusual feature to it. This is the first toy in quite a while that has completely blown away any negative assumptions I had about it. The shape was unlike any I have tried in the past; I was completely surprised that this one would be the product that would give me such an amazing experience.

The Superbe is a diamond in the rough, and I say rough because of a few key characteristics that could be improved upon: battery rattle, finicky battery cover, loudness and lack of waterproofing. I also wanted to be able to insert the toy just a little bit deeper into my vagina, but I couldn’t go in any farther without getting juices into the slide control. I felt that the wide end of the toy could have been curved a little differently, say in an ‘s’ shape, in order to facilitate better insertion control. The slider too, could be moved towards the wide end of the toy.

Long Term Appeal

The Superbe’s non phallic shape makes it an attractive toy for the long run. It’s kind of like buying a classic pencil skirt or a basic black cardigan; there are less trendy features to get bored of and you’ll be able to integrate it into your play on many more occasions. The Superbe has earned a place in my ‘go to’ pleasure chest; it’s hygienic, uncomplicated and delivers great orgasms, all factors that appeal to me on a longer term basis.

Value
The cost of this toy is superb; there is major bang for your buck. Also because it’s priced in a lower range, it makes it a less of a risk to try out.

Final Thoughts
It lost a few points with me because it was too loud and lacked in certain aspects of design and manufacturing; nevertheless, it still gave me wicked awesome G-spot experience and I recommend it as a worthwhile, low cost toy to pick up. I rate the Superbe an 8.5/10.

7 Tips for Sex in the Shower

by Shelly Lomax of Trimet

For some people, sex in the shower proves to be a carnal challenge. Some feel uncomfortably confined while they’re in the stall, while others get too distracted by the thought of slipping and falling. However, although it takes some creative manoeuvring, there are many advantages to this very wet form of sexual activity.

Why it’s Great
The shower is the most natural place to be naked, and getting intimate there creates a novel twist to your sex life. Having steamy hot water run down your bodies can be extremely seductive, which also seriously increases your chance of getting lucky. The setting is naturally conducive to sensual caress, oral attention and deep Kissing. It’s an efficient, no fuss way to get off, and comes in especially handy when you don’t have privacy or when time is a constraint. It’s refreshing and invigorating, which is great for those who fall into a coma-like sleep after they cum. It’s also very suitable for those who suffer from the adverse effects of chronic body odor.

Doing it in the shower is a highly effective form of Foreplay, as well as a perfect opportunity to get a quickie in. Shower sex can be the place where the main event takes place or a deliciously clean precursor to getting dirty everywhere else in the house. Though, you don’t necessarily need to leave the bathroom. The shower is a great transition to or from having sex on the sink counter, in front of the bathroom mirror, or up against the wall; you can use the toilet (with the lid down) as a seat while you give head or as a prop for sex positions like Doggy Style - Standing.

So now that you’re all fired up to get wet, check out our tips for shower sex – they’ll help make it sexy every time you step under the spritzer.

1. Safe is Sexy
Please be careful when getting down in the shower. It’s very easy to slip, so take precautions to avoid any unnecessary, let alone embarrassing, injuries. Here are a few suggestions. Make sure your shower floor is clean of any soapy or oily residue. While at play, use bath products carefully; you can easily lose your footing on a slick body scrub. Although steamy can be sexy, provide adequate ventilation to prevent anyone from getting faint or dizzy.

If you don’t have ledges or handles to hold on to, head down to the local hardware store and see if you can find handles or towel rods that can securely adhere to the shower wall. They provide added support and stability for the couple, and if positioned right, can boost eroticism. (Try sticking them on the ceiling or higher up along the wall.) Avoid slippery floors by using adhesive grips or a rubber mat. If you need a boost, an option to check out is a sturdy, rubber-bottomed stool.

2. Make it Spic and Span
Soap scum and piles of hair in the drain take the magic away from shower sex – and fast. A bathroom that’s well prepared for sex includes a sanitized shower stall, a fresh scent, and clean towels. Avoid clutter by removing unnecessary stuff off counters and the shower caddy. Post coitus, make sure that all leftover bodily fluid is rinsed away; if not, it can leave a sticky residue that’s hard to clean.

3. Set the mood
Be prepared for anything and everything. Many of the same accessories you keep handy for lovemaking in the bedroom are useful in the bathroom; candles and scented Massage oil are a must. Have nicely scented soap on hand, but use it with care! For many women, not only does it lead to an uncomfortable reaction when it contacts the vagina, the irritation may linger for days afterward. Opt for lots of foreplay to get lubricated and keep a bottle of silicone (not water-based) lube on hand. One of the few downsides of shower sex is that water quickly washes away natural lubrication, so have some extra handy!

4. Clean Each Others’ Nooks and Crannies
Washing one another is an intimate and seductive act. Both of you come out clean, smelling fresh and feeling confident, all of which help put you in the mood. Use a sponge, bath mitt or soft washcloth and lather each others` bodies with a mild soap or gentle shampoo. Take your time to caress sensitive areas and feel free to sneak in a tongue or a finger.

This activity is a natural lead in for other sensual stuff like Oral Sex, erotic shaving, Analingus, and Anal Sex. If you’ve always wanted to try some racier oral sex positions, the shower’s the place to do it; we recommend trying Eve’s Ecstasy, Jack Hammer or Forbidden Fruit. And, when it comes to the ladies, make sure you spend enough time getting her really turned on – a common complaint from women is that shower sex takes too much concentration without enough pleasure.

5. Water Toys
What a great place to introduce a sex toy! Consider the fun you could have with a waterproof vibe. There are also splash-proof, hands-free options available that can be worn by either a man or a woman. How about a Dildo that you could suction to the shower wall? If you don’t have any Sex Toys suitable for water play, use tools that are located right at your fingertips. If you don’t have one already, a quality shower head is the best investment into your sex life in the shower. As one of the most common ‘sex toys’ that women start out Masturbating with, not only will she appreciate the gesture, she’ll also love all those fan dangled spray and massage options.

6. Appropriate Sex Positions
Prepare an arsenal of passionate poses to steam it up in the bathroom. If there’s a significant height or body size difference, it’s all the more reason to have some practised in your mind. In addition, be mindful of positioning yourselves so that water isn’t spurting into one another’s face.

The most appropriate positions are variations on the standing Rear Entry position, Bodyguard. Have her put her hands up against the wall and spread her legs, as though she were getting frisked, and penetrate her from behind. Get her to bend right over as in Ben Dover and then support her by the wrists in Prison Guard.

If you want gaze into each others’ eyes, try some of these face to face poses. If differing heights don’t get in the way, be on your feet in a sort of standing Missionary; then, get a leg over in Dancer, one of the most popular positions for the shower. If you can really get a leg over, try Ballerina. Another hot shower position is to hold her up entirely, shown in Stand & Carry.

When you need to take a break, get down on your knees and try kneeling Missionary, Bended Knee, or some good old Doggy Style. If you want to be able to sit for a while, do the Lotus.

7. Make the Best of What You’ve Got
You may not own the shower you’ve always fantasized about having sex in but, whether it’s big or small, use what you’ve got to your advantage. If you’ve got a tight space with nowhere to sit or rest a leg, you’ll have the most fun with standing positions. Press her against the wall of the shower and penetrate her from behind; the coolness of the shower wall will be an invigorating contrast to the hot action going on behind her.

If her legs are long enough, she can use the walls of the shower to hold herself up as he presses her body against the wall for Face to Face penetration. Wrapping a leg around his hip or leg is also a great way for her to maintain balance during Intercourse. When you need to use a restful pose, throw some towels down on the shower floor and use them to have sex on while you’re on your knees.

For those of you who’ve got a shower seat or a bathtub, enjoy the convenience. Use the seat and ledges to prop up a leg or to brace against; find creative ways to incorporate the bathtub ledge into intercourse. Since you’re not as confined with space, why not try positions like Bulldog and Cowgirl.

Final Thoughts
With all of these great reasons to get dirty while you’re getting clean, why not try getting it on in the shower! Whether you use it to start off a night of fantastic lovemaking, or as a quick way to get off, the shower is an un-sung winner.

Dirty Talk - Advanced

by Shelly Lomax
Now that you should hopefully have awakened your partner’s libido, it is time to put on that final touch. Check out our Dirty Talk Basics guide (if you haven't already) first, then read on below to refine and enhance those skills. Keep in mind the basic guidelines; like deep breaths and sounds, your words should also be in sync with the rhythm you have just created. The inhale breath should almost always be heard by your partner and you should speak in the "sexy voice" on the exhale breath. Enunciate all your words to your best degree.

To begin you should focus on these following questions: Which of my partner’s skills or attributes turn me on? How do they make me feel? How am I feeling right now? Dirty talking is mostly concerned with momentous sayings, so you should try to let your instinct carry you. If you feel that your partner is hot, call it as it is: "you are so hot!" If you feel that their touch makes your genitals quiver, say it: "Your touch makes my cock/pussy quiver." If you feel that you are very hard/wet, state it: "I’m so hard/wet right now."

However, a good rule of thumb is to avoid the word "because." You are not writing an essay question. This will avoid sounding dull and it will also add urgency. In a sense, you may be cramming a long portion of a sentence in an exhaling breath so this forces you to say it very quickly, which emphasizes that urge. For example: "You laying there naked makes my cock/pussy hard/wet because I find you to be so irresistible." You may be feeling this, but this is a bit long. Try separating the fragments with breaths. Long inhale, "You lying there naked," quick inhale “Makes my cock/pussy hard/wet" inhale "You’re irresistible." This style sounds more natural than mechanical, which is the intention of good dirty talk.

Another added bonus of separating the sentence is that it allows you to think on the spot. You can simply state something with out wondering whether it’s long enough, or why you feel that way. State the phrase, breathe, and add to it.

To turn up the dirty talking a bit, you should focus on this question: What do I want to happen to my partner or to me? Do not be intimidated. Think about things like foreplay, oral, anal, the use of toys, different positions, being spanked, etc. The answers to this question can be transformed into very naughty phrases. These are all within you, for only you know what you want. Ok, so you can cheat if you really need to: if you draw a complete blank, watching adult films for inspiration is always a possibility. Nevertheless, you should look deep within yourself and bare all your dirty fantasies. (Long inhale) "You just got out of the shower (couple of breaths), I just want to fuck you until you can't walk anymore (inhale), Cum/spray all over you (inhale) ... (quivering exhale/inhale), get you all dirty again."

After letting out some of your wants and desires, you may want to consider adding some more emphasis on certain subjects. One option is to add those initial sounds as previously mentioned. "Uh (inhale), I want to eat out your pussy/suck your dick (inhale), aah." Repetition is used to emphasize the importance of an action. "Pound me! (Long inhale). Come on (quick inhale), pound me! (Inhale), pound me harder!" You can also use adjectives and adverbs. "My nipples want your soft lips to slowly suck them and then bite them hard."

Using singular adjectives or adverbs can also be a relief from always hearing the combination of an adjective before a noun. Make sure to stress the last syllable in the word to create more of an impact. For example, the word "wet" should be pronounced as "wet-te." (Long inhale) "I love it when I/you push my/your cock so far into you/me (inhale), I feel it touching all your/my walls inside (inhale), warm (inhale), wet (inhale), moist (inhale), tight."

To avoid sounding redundant with vocabulary, attempt using metaphors, such as "I want to feel my/your essence leaking out of me." For a more aggressive touch, using cursing can be quite thrilling. Compare “You are such a great lay" to "Holy shit! You are such a great fucking lay!" Other examples are "Fucking bang me harder, bitch/bastard," "Fucking smack my God-damned ass," and "Jesus, it just feels so bloody good that I want to fucking cum all over you." Here you are able to speak louder because these phrases tend to be more aggressive.

Be sensitive to your partner's responses - some people may find it incredibly erotic (in the heat of the moment) to be referred to in an unusual (perhaps even degrading) way, such as a "my little whore" or "my dirty bastard", but others may be very offended. If you sense shock (or feel it yourself), then talk about it afterwards and re-assure each other that it is just 'play'. In any case (as with anything new) start off slowly, monitor the response - and adjust accordingly.

Role-playing can also be considered a section of dirty talk because even though you may be acting, there is massive dialogue. Role-playing basically concentrates on acting on your or your partner’s fantasies. This tends to be more difficult because you need to fully understand your fantasies by knowing the role of both you and your partner. For example, you need to know if your partner ought to be dumb, wild, shy, mean, etc. An easy angle to start with is the dominant and submissive roles. You choose one of these roles while your partner must choose the opposing role or vice versa. The dominant figure tends to be more aggressive in their wants and desires. They must take charge: command and demand. "I am going to handcuff you to the bed, and you better not squeal." "Spread your legs now!" There are two sides of being submissive: the willing and the refusing. As a willing figure, you may decide to either solely perform the actions or perform with the purpose of liking them.

If you are a refusing figure, you may decide to perform the commands while begging for mercy or perform after intense threats. In a case you are finding that your partner is having difficulty taking on the role of a dominant figure, you can then ask defiant questions. "What are you going to do if I refuse to even kiss you, never mind suck your cock / eat out your pussy?" If the dominant partner is still not responding, then you answer the questions. "Will he/she smack me, or pin me down?" Here the submissive partner is offering material that the dominant partner would hopefully be able to work with. There are many situations where dirty talking can be used in role playing: nurse and her not-so-sick patient, the student begging for a better grade, a master and his slave, Cleopatra seducing Caesar, popular cheerleader with the average guy, etc. Remember that the trick to having a great role-playing session is to act out exactly what you crave as long as it is to a safe degree.

It is absolutely necessary to practice dirty talking with a partner that you are comfortable with. This will allow you to say exactly what you are striving for and in the end satisfy your wants and needs. Everyone has the potential of being a great dirty talker as long as you remember to work with your own instincts and try to be as natural as possible. The techniques and tips here are not etched in stone so feel free to add your personal style to them and to focus on your partner's feedback. Please keep in mind that practice makes perfect and that variety is the spice of life.

Advanced Tantric Sex Secrets

There are many different tantric practices that aren’t explicitly sexual; rather, they focus on things like internal energy. During intense arousal or orgasm, a person can reach a mental state that is very still with an effect similar to that of meditation. By extending your lovemaking long enough to stimulate erogenous zones, areas of the body that are most receptive to erotic touch, you bring energy into them, thus generating a highly charged physical response. This is where Advanced Tantric Sex Secrets comes in...

Summary
Advanced Tantric Sex Secrets is an adult educational video that is part of the Loving Sex Series created by the Alexander Institute. It is presented in the form of a very intimate couple’s tantric sex class. The hosts direct the students in the practice of tantric techniques and provide commentary and guidance throughout the show’s duration.

The topic begins with ‘Key Concepts in Tantric Lovemaking' and follows with a thorough analysis of the 3 categories of erogenous zones … primary, secondary and tertiary. Once each group of highly sensitive body parts is explored, they jump to ‘Putting the Practice Together‘, where the couples are given sequences of erogenous zones to excite. ‘Positions for Tantric Sex’ examines two classic female-dominant sexual positions that can rouse incredible erotic energy. The video ends with ‘Concluding Thoughts’, where the couples share their experience of practicing tantric sex.

Presentation (8.5/10)
Mark Michaels and Patricia Dodson, the authors of the book ‘The Essence of Tantric Sensuality’, host the video. Their book is an in-depth examination of Tantric philosophy; it’s was a winner in the Health: Sexuality category of the National Best Books 2007 Awards, as well as a finalist in the Eastern Religions category of the same contest.

The segment of tantric sex principles that that they focus on is specific and instructive enough in order to give a viewer a good set of tools to work with. I often see instructional videos that are too broad and don’t give enough range of skills to practice within a particular category. This presentation did a good job of balancing the right amount of detail to communicate.

Advanced Tantric Sex Secrets is explicit yet tasteful. I say tasteful not because it avoids showing too much; rather it displays a lot of eroticism in the way it pays careful attention to the profound intensity that can be reached. They set aside enough time to clearly demonstrate how to perform each skill – it doesn’t seem like the couple are rushed or uncomfortable and they appear to be very genuine in wanting to please one another.

Content Quality (9/10)
Advanced Tantric Sex Secrets would be well received well by a diverse range of viewers because it combines candid coaching with energetically charged sexual scenes. There is a lot that people can pick up from this production, whether they are clueless or curious, or even already very capable at passionate lovemaking.

An average person would feel confident about trying and even integrating this information into their regular sexual practice. Whether you’re inspired to try stimulating a particular erogenous zone or launch into some of the more complex zone patterns that they include, you’ll certainly walk away from this video with a new sense of awareness and admiration for the level of consciousness that can be reached through sex.

Sex Appeal (8.5/10)
I met up with some girlfriends for some wine and chit chat and decided to bring along some of the adult videos I needed to review. It was so entertaining to hear their diverse opinions but there was one thing that everyone agreed to hands down; this video was by far the hottest one. There we all were, heads cocked to one side murmuring ‘whoa’ and ‘hot’ in fascinated rapture, while our wine glasses drained increasingly quickly.

This video is very realistic and extremely sensual. The couples seem like they are genuinely getting turned on and make sincere efforts to pleasure one another. What really made it sexy was that you got to see their slow sensual progression with each part of the body and you could sense the anticipation build up not only in the actors, but yourself too! You will definitely want to replay and refer back to Advanced Tantric Sex Secrets.

Video Quality (7.5/10)
The video quality is reasonable. The participants are always in the shot and they make use of different camera angles. The filming doesn’t overly favour copulation shots to the actual joining of the couple, which is often the case with many porn movies. You can still see, for example, how the demonstrators perform fellatio on one another, but it is important to include the participants’ responses to the stimulus.

Audio Quality (7/10)
The music is the signature Alexander Institute sound, which is similar to a single guitar, strumming slowly. It was used to transition to different segments and as a background for some of the voiceovers. I love that you could hear the moans and the slight intakes of breath that the actors make because it really adds to the overall sensuality of the presentation. The audio quality was fair but certain scenes sounded a bit tinny; fortunately, it was quite subtle.

Extra Features (5.5/10)
The extra features are the standard ones that are included in the Loving Sex productions: tips from a sex coach, general sexuality information and web links. There are previews available for all of the Loving Sex productions as well as a bonus scene. The bonus feature is a 15 minute scene from “Ultimate Massage”, which features a British lady giving her male partner a genital massage. It seems like it isn’t a very new production and, frankly, is a bit cheesy. However, the scene has good material showing how to lead in from a massage to a hand job.

Overall Score (7.7/10)
This is one of my favorite adult educational videos to date. It’s got the right mix of information, sensuality and impact. Although the extra features and audio/video quality didn’t blow me away, the content and genuineness made up for it many times over.

To Order
If you would like to order, or more know about Advanced Tantric Sex Secrets, please Click Here .

Spin the Bottle - Sex Games Series

by Shelly Lomax

Object
The object of the game is simple: it’s to randomly kiss or make out with others playing the game. If you’ve always wanted to know what it felt like to smooch with someone in particular, here’s your chance.

Number of Players
The more players you can gather, the better; more people adds variety and heightens anticipation. If you don’t, it’ll quickly progress from a saucy adult party game to a small orgy.

What You’ll Need
You’ll need one bottle, preferably empty; otherwise, if your spin goes out of control, getting whacked with it will hurt.

Ideal Participants
Players should be open-minded and have fresh breath! It helps if they’re relatively similar in good looks and/or great at making out; keep this in mind when you formulate a guest list.

Couples must be willing to play without jealousy or insecurity; if either one of them feels uncomfortable about players kissing their other half, they need to remove themselves immediately.

How to Play
This is a party game based on the one many have played as kids. Everyone arranges themselves in a circle sitting on, or close, to the floor. Players take turns spinning the bottle; whoever it points closest to is the one they must kiss. SexInfo101’s adaptation has one optional rule; if you land on the same sex, you also have to kiss them!

You can play the game by going around the circle consecutively to let each person have a turn. Some of you may have also used a more arbitrary method of taking turns, where the person who the bottle lands on goes next.

Depending on how adventurous the group is, another option is to ‘up the ante’ every so many turns, so that (say) ‘a kiss’ then becomes ‘a kiss & a stroke’ of a particular body part, followed by ‘a kiss & fondle inside the clothing, followed by one removing another’s article of clothing … and so on. You are only limited by your imagination…

Make Your Own Porn Movie With Female Porn Director Sophie Kinsella

by Shelly Lomax

On this week's Dirty Talk Show we have the extremely gorgeous and multi-talented Sophie Kinsella , female-friendly Porn Director and erotic author, talking about her kinky career and her top tips for how you can make your very own home porn movie!

You can buy Sophie Kinsella DVDs from me.

Shelly: Sophie Kinsella , to begin with, can you give Shelly's readers a brief overview of what your job entails?

Sophie Kinsella : Since 1998 I have been writing, directing and producing porn films with over 185 scenes made to date. My job includes everything from choosing the models, writing the scripts, camera work and overseeing the editing. In the last year I focused on setting up distribution, too.

SL: Why did you decide to get involved with the porn industry?

SK: Because I have always liked sex, because I knew it was important to add to women's understanding of their sexuality and because I am naturally experimental and this type of film allows you that space to experiment.

SL: How did you land your job as a porn director and what was your first job in the industry?

SK: I wrote my dissertation, 'Towards A Better Pornography,' in 1997 at St Martins school Of Art while studying Fine Art, Film and Video. I then tried to make my first feature porn film by myself, but I eventually started making programmes for Television X while working there full-time as an Editor making censor's cuts – ironically!

SL: You're a director of 'female friendly' porn. What exactly does that mean?

SK: It involves camera shoots from a female perspective angle as well as the male; good looking guys; believable/funny scenarios; eye contact; good styling; non degrading roles for women; fantasy or reality type scenarios (I do two types) and humour. I also don't sell films by body types, ie, big-titted women or by acts, ie, all anal because women don't think like that.

SL: Which film would you say is the best example of your work?

SK: There isn't one that's best – some scenes really work, some less so. My personal favourites vary, but I like A& O Department and Sophie Mates a lot.

SL: What tips can you give Shelly's readers about making their own home porn videos?

SK: I've written a whole book on the subject called Erotic Home Video – Make Your Own Erotic Films, which has loads of tips on the subject, but I would mainly say that you should both share using the camera and explore your point of view. Put it on auto, as you wont make a technical masterpiece anyway. Begin the scenario with a narrative, which can start with sneaky peaks outside, and if you're embarrassed try mimicking porn stars to get started and use POV (Point Of View) shots as they evoke real sex and can be very horny.

SL: And how would people get around the problem of not having their own camerman?

SK: You could set it up on a tripod/chest of drawers or use a mirror.

SL: So what is the steamiest sex scene you have ever directed?

SK: There have been many. I shot a girl on girl scene the other day where one of the girl's had never had sex with a girl before, and the other did fisting, was shagged by a foot and a bottle as well as other acts and she was totally keen to do these things. The energy between the two was a one off!

SL: Do you ever get turned on when directing a sex scene?

SK: Yes sometimes, when it's really good, but there's a lot of technical stuff to keep your mind on, too.

SL: Have you ever acted in any porn films yourself? If not, would you consider doing it?

SK: I have made home movies and would maybe consider a cameo one day, but I'm not sure. I'm not really that much of an exhibitionistic.

SL: Have you worked with any major porn celebrities?

SK: Some British stars such as Hannah Hartley, Mckenzie Lee, Alicia Rhodes, Steve Hooper, Tony Di Sergio, Nadia/Pixie and Angel Long, even Portland's own, Ron Jeremy at one time.

SL: Which porn actor/actress would you most love to direct and why?

SK: Belladonna, she is truly talented.

SL: If you could direct a porn film starring a Hollywood celebrity, who would it be and why?

SK: Hollywood doesn't really do it for me, I don't fancy any of them really!

SL: You mentioned earlier that you're involved in the casting process too, so what is the general casting procedure for a porn actor/actress?

SK: Male actors have to send in nude photos with erections and then audition wanking in a film (a bukkake or wanking in the background), and then in the next scene I will try them out on their own. A girl just needs to send in photos.

SL: Finally, what is your favourite sex toy and why is it your favourite?

SK: I can't remember the exact name but I have a Rabbit vibrator that has the Rabbit ears that tickle the bum, too. It makes the whole area between my clit and anus come alive.

See Sophie Kinsella DVDs at LoveBunny.

Adult Twister - Sex Games Series

by Shelly Lomax
Object
My version of Twister is a “get to know ya” game through and through. The aim for players is to maintain their balance (and composure) as they arrange themselves into a quagmire of suggestive poses.

Number of Players
You can take part with as little as two people, but one mat will fit as many as four. When you play at maximum capacity, it does make for a tight squeeze, but this isn’t a bad thing when you experiment with our adult edition. By adding additional mats, you can accommodate multitudes of Twister players...

What You’ll Need
You’ll require quantities of one or more of the original game of Twister. Ask your guests if they own one before you buy extras. If you’re prepared to try Pink Twister, you will also need supplies to modify the spinner board: scissors, pink paper and tape.

Ideal Participants
The most entertaining candidates for twister are those who are playful and physically fit. Oh yeah, they should have a really open mind and be comfortable with nudity (their own and others’). Players must be prepared to contort themselves into provocative positions while being up close and personal with other players.

How to Play
Twister is played on a big plastic mat that’s covered with rows of different colored dots. The mat serves as a game board and peoples’ bodies are the game pieces. Someone spins the Twister spinner and calls out one color and one of four body parts: left hand, right hand, left foot, right foot. Participants must then place their hand or foot onto the corresponding colored dot. Remember, no two people can share the same dot. Just like in the original game, participants are eliminated when they fall, or touch their knee or elbow to the mat. Here are a few adult variations of Twister:

Strip
Based on the same premise as {Strip Poker}, players remove an article of clothing each time they accidentally contact the mat. This is a great way to break the ice and lead up to what’s next on the list...

Nude
As the name clearly implies, nudity is the essence of this adult adaptation of Twister. Not only do players get an eyeful, they get to rub against one another and squeeze themselves into some outrageous poses; it begins to look a lot like they’re practicing what’s in our Sex Positions Guide. Because participants’ genitals will be intimately displayed, advise guests ahead of time so they can groom appropriately. Are you ready to try something even more arousing? Read on...

Pink
Create your own version of a Spinner Board by integrating the color pink into the wheel. This will represent players touching each others’ “pink”, also known as their genitals. You can stick with hands or feet, since it’s already built into the spinner board, but some participants may be averse to being touched by people’s feet; feel free to modify body parts. If your players are very receptive to this version of Twister, use oral commands (instead of body parts) when you land on “pink”, such as: suck, lick, flick and so on.

Rotating Players
We have a final suggestion to keep your Twister party brimming with excitement. Instead of using multiple mats to contain a large number of players, you may want to use the “tag” method. Just like in tag team wrestling, players can, at any point, tag a spectator to take their place; they can do so simply by calling their name. This expands the length of play, so that people don’t get naked too fast. It also keeps onlookers engaged (as if they wouldn’t be already!)

How to Make a Woman Ejaculate - These Tips Will Make Any Woman Chase You Around Like Crazy

By Shelly Lomax

There are generally two kinds of women - those who are sexually introverted and those who can readily squirt their juices without much sweating on your part. If you are stuck with the first kind, consider it some sort of a manly challenge that you need to accomplish.

When you walk up to your girl and mention the word orgasm, chances are you will be met with negative reactions. Some women may have never even heard of such term, and they consider it real rude when men talk to them in that manner. So the challenge here is to turn things around and make her realize that there is more to sex than just the casual humping and grinding.

To get her in tune with her sexuality, you must know how to make a woman ejaculate. This is an experience that she will never forget. If you can bring her to the state of orgasm, then rest assured she'll stay with you through thick and thin.

There is not much difference between peeing and ejaculating when it comes to a woman. This is because both the liquid produced are expelled from the place called the urethra. If this is her first time ejaculating, she might not have that much control over her pubic muscles, making it difficult to hold back her pee.

That's okay. Don't let it bother you. Act as if you're completely enjoying the sight of her urinating right before your eyes. Once she has developed the ability to make sense of what's going on, she will squirt real orgasm juices minus the pee material.

There is still no better way to make her soaking wet, than with the g-spot and clitoris stimulation. These two are key on how to make a woman ejaculate. You should always begin the evening with wild foreplay. To get her pumped, lick her clitoris until she begins moaning and doing crazy facial expressions. With your palms facing upward, stick two fingers inside the entrance and search around for a round object inside which is the g-spot.

Never stop licking while you're groping around for the g-spot. This calls for some multi-tasking skills which you need to learn for successful lovemaking. Keep stroking the g-spot, varying the pressure from time to time until she finally ejaculates under your nose.

A technique to make her clitoris more pronounced is to press gently the space between her pubic hair and navel. She might say that she's about to pee but that's not going to happen. That's just the sensation she feels because of too much excitement. Tell her to simply let go and that you don't mind her "peeing". It is at this point that you will be greeted with a warm gush of water that for her, is an experience like no other.

Also pay close attention to this,

If you aren't already well-endowed, this is a surefire way to improve how satisfying you are in bed. A long, thick penis will Stimulate Her G-Spot And make your woman climax MUCH more easily than an average or below-average one. Yes It Is True!

Try a Bit of Bondage

Getting tied up instantly boosts the sexual energy because it brings in the element of vulnerability. "When you're bound, you're completely at the mercy of your partner's urges, which is exciting. Plus, you can focus entirely on being pleasured since you're not able to reciprocate.
Naughty move: Lie on the bed with your hands tied together, and let him devour you. Have him start with a tease by holding his first and second fingers in a V, placing them on either side of your clitoris, and massaging in a scissoring motion. Then he can use side-to-side motions with his tongue to get you really worked up. "A lot of guys go up and down, but that makes for more pressure on such a sensitive spot, which can be too intense," says sex educator Jamye Waxman. "Side to side feels more relaxing and arousing."

Even naughtier move: Have him tie your hands with a scarf and hang them on a hook on his door (the kind you would hang your coat or towel on) before he tantalizes you with oral. Since you'll feel totally like his sex toy, you can add to the arousal of being restrained by begging him to "release" you and let you orgasm. "Playing up that he's in control and responsible for getting you off is a huge turn-on," says Cynthia W. Gentry, author of the forthcoming book What Women Really Want in Bed. He can use his power to either allow you to climax or withhold stimulation for a tortuous minute.

Give Him a Peep Show

Much of arousal is driven by what we see — especially for guys. "Many men love watching a woman get turned on. It lets them know what gets her going and makes them feel like they're doing something illicit by just sitting back and enjoying the show," says sexologist Sari Locker, PhD, author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex. "And it's great for women too. Seeing how a guy reacts to watching you pumps up your desire."

Naughty move: On a night your guy is coming over to hang out, masturbate alone just before you're going to see him, but don't let yourself climax. To bring yourself right to the edge without going over, close your eyes and imagine your guy's lips taking the place of your hand. Squeeze your PC muscles for a count of five as you massage your clitoris, then stop moving. Stay naked until he shows up, and let him see the flush that naturally spreads over your body as you near orgasm. Then describe for him what you've been up to. He'll put together an irresistible mental image of you self-pleasuring that will build his desire so that when you have sex, it'll be an incredible release for you both.

Even naughtier move: Before a date, entice your guy over to your place early, and let him watch you masturbate before you leave for the evening, telling him he can have his turn later. "He'll think it's hot to get this intimate peek, which allows his own arousal to surge," explains Debby Herbenick, PhD, author of Because It Feels Good. Do it seated in front of a mirror with him behind you so that he has a great view of the action as well as a nice shot of your ass. Start by touching your nipples with one hand and rubbing a thigh with your free one. Then stimulate your lower area, moving your fingers faster and faster as you get turned on. Don't let him interrupt. Instead, tell him you expect him to finish where you left off when you get home.

by Shelly Lomax

Me and my boyfriend have a good sex life but sex only lasts 15 minutes. How long should it last?

Me and my boyfriend have a good sex life but sex only lasts 15 minutes. How long should it last?


by Shelly Lomax

Lots of people ask me if there’s a certain period of time they should spend having sex, with the most quoted figure being 20 minutes.


Question:


I am 26 and my boyfriend is 28. We have good sex but it only really takes about 15 minutes. Is this normal. How long should a sex session last?

Shelly Says:


Lots of people ask me if there’s a certain period of time they should spend having sex, with the most quoted figure being 20 minutes. This one came into its own because of a survey result that said most women take 20 minutes to climax.

Everyone took that to mean 20 minutes of general foreplay but in fact, it meant 20 minutes of direct and consistent clitoral stimulation. So unless the session actually starts with him diving straight for your crown jewel and is over the second you’ve had your orgasm, it doesn’t make sense.


People also missed the crucial words ‘up to’, as in it can take women up to 20 minutes, rather than it always does. But the thing is, lots of women are able to orgasm in two minutes, others may take 40 minutes if not really in the mood. You say the sex you’re having is good, so I’m guessing you’re able to climax quickly. Good for you! Instead of worrying about it, enjoy it!


If you want the session to last longer, try instigating some new positions or techniques or ideas. If you’re short on inspiration, my books are full of ideas.

Since starting the menopause I'm not as horny as I was - is there a female equivalent of Viagra?

Shelly, I haven’t come across any guaranteed pill that does the trick, but there are currently extensive trials into finding a female equivalent to Viagra.

Question:


I love sex but since starting the menopause I no longer get that mid-cycle fantastic horniness that I thrived on.

Are there any tried and tested pills or potions to help get me back that surge/urge! Men have Viagra... what do we have?

Julie Says:

Well, as yet I haven’t come across any surefire, guaranteed pill that does the trick, but the good news is that there are currently extensive trials into finding a female equivalent to Viagra - so watch this space!


In the meantime, you may find ArginMax for Women is a help - it’s a nutritional supplement containing ginseng, gingko biloba, multivitamins and minerals, with a published clinical study to back it up.


Results show that it can increase sexual desire, frequency of orgasm and clitoral sensitivity. It’s available from Nutri Centre outlets (situated in Tesco stores around the country) or via their telephone order line 0800 587 2290. They have an advice line too on 020 7436 5122 - or order online at http://www.nutricentre.com/

There are also several female arousal fluids you could try. They’re generally massaged into the vulva and work by encouraging blood flow to your bits - so it’s hard to think of anything other than getting a good seeing-to as quickly as possible.


Tracey Cox’s Supersex Orgasm Gel, Durex Play-O Orgasm Gel and Flower Power Body Balm Orgasm Enhancer are all excellent and should turbo-charge the tingle down below.

What if You Get Off First?

Every guy has had the unfortunate incident where he had his orgasm before his girlfriend had hers. It can be a very frustrating experience for both people involved, but it doesn’t have to be. There are plenty of ways to please your partner without using your erect penis. There are lots of things you can do with your hands, mouth, or toys. Think of it as naughtier foreplay.
Oral sex is a great way to finish the job! When you perform cunnilingus on her, use your mouth and your hands- This will maximize her pleasure. Listen to the sounds she makes while you are doing it, that will let you know what she likes. Penetrate her with your fingers while you use your tongue to stimulate her clitoris.
Another way to get her off is to use sex toys such as a dildo or a vibrator. You can get creative with this one, because if you have multiple toys, you can use more than one at the same time. All the while, you can still give her head or stimulate her many other erogenous zones.
If your girlfriend is into watching adult videos, then turn one on for her, because it will heighten her state of arousal and increase her chances of achieving an orgasm. If you and your girlfriend have not included adult videos into your sex lives, then see my post below about how to get her to watch them with you. They would be a fantastic addition to your sex lives! If she’s not into watching those types of videos, then try talking dirty to her while doing some [or all] of the above suggestions. Good luck!

How to look after and clean your Fleshlight sex toy

A little tender loving care will go a long way to ensuring your Fleshlight male sex toy will give you a life-time of enjoyment.



After use, remove the gel Fleshlight insert from the plastic canister and run hot tap water through it to remove fluid deposits.
Towel-dry or air-dry the gel insert.


The gel insert will feel tacky or sticky after washing - this is normal.


To restore the original silky feeling of the insert, powder it with corn starch. Powdering it is not necessary to care for the insert.


To properly re-position the gel insert inside the plastic canister, reach through the small end of the canister and pull the insert down into place.

More information about Fleshlight cleaning

Using soap or detergents to clean your gel insert will deteriorate the surface of the gel insert, resulting in a tackier feel.


Some people have asked if there could be a coating on the gel insert to lessen the tackiness. Unfortunately, the coatings that are currently available are toxic and may cause rashes.


The Fleshlight makers consider customers' health and well-being first, and will not use any substance that is not considered safe in every way.


They are constantly working to improve our products. Once a safe coating is available to us, we will make it available to our customers as well.


The Fleshlight male sex toy was designed by the manufacturer for single-person use only. Do not share!


We accept no responsibility for improper or multiple-partner use of Fleshlight products.

5 Common Fellatio Mistakes

by Shellly Lomax

Introduction

A great blowjob is an erotic technique that you can use to make any man melt. You can really set the tone of a sexual encounter by the manner in which you give one. It can be an amazing form of Foreplay, and it is highly rewarding if you throw a 69 Positions into the mix. But is it possible that you’re making fatal Fellatio errors without even knowing it? Read on to see if you’re committing any of these classic blowjob blunders, and learn the tips to make them right.



1. You’re a Teeth Grazer with a Death Grip

Rather than moans of pleasure, he conveys muffled groans of pain. If you think you’re doing him a favor by giving him extra stimulation, think again; he may be wincing at the thought of the next painful stroke. A good blowjob involves finesse, and that requires you to stay in tune with your partner’s response to your touch. Clumsiness should also be avoided at all costs, especially where there’s teeth involved.



You can give him the sensation of a firm teeth grip ONLY if you do it with caution as well as his consent. Don’t assume that he likes it rough during oral sex unless he’s made it explicitly clear. Even then, give your man a warm up before you carry on to rougher play.



2. Your Blowjobs are Boring

One of the keys to extraordinary fellatio is to create novelty in your technique, which is something you both will find great pleasure in. Here are some ideas...



a) Vary the sensation by using your mouth rim, tongue, lips, fingers, hands and breasts – individually or in combinations.



b) Men are visual creatures, so why not give him a show he won’t forget? This includes touching yourself as you play with him, changing the position so that he gets a different viewing angle, or watching him as you glide your mouth and tongue over his penis and testicles.



c) Adjust the tempo and the intensity of the blowjob. Hard and fast, slow n’ hard, fast and light … you get the idea.



d) Make sure to give your mouth a break if it feels cramped. In the meantime, try rubbing your lips up and down his shaft while holding his balls in your hand. Alternatively, rub or smack his penis (gently!) against the tips of your nipples, tongue and lips.



3. You Don’t Ask for Feedback

Some women assume that a blowjob in and of itself feels good to a guy; so, they do it a certain way without considering whether it’s actually satisfactory or not. When it comes to Oral Sex, it makes the situation so much easier when you ask you sexual partner for a thumbs up or a thumbs down. If it’s not delivered exactly right, them having to approach you about it can be awkward, or make either of you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.



You can learn what his hot buttons are by trial and error, but it’s a lot easier if you just ask him, or getting him to Masturbate in front of you. Another option is to get him to lend you a hand; he can guide your movements and illustrate the rhythm and motion that will drive him wild with desire. Take the guesswork out of it; taking an active role in pursuing his pleasure will nurture a freer sexual relationship and is a great way to lead by example.



4. You Treat a Blowjob like a Chore

Some women feel like it’s a task to love their man’s member. Her neck gets sore, it makes her feel like gagging, he takes too long to come, you don’t get anything in return - or, he asks for it so much that it feels like an obligation.



Whatever the case may be, a blowjob laced with resentment doesn’t bode well for either party. Although fellatio requires some skill, it also involves having the right frame of mind; if you’re just going through the motions, there’s a good chance he’ll notice.



Just because you start a blowjob doesn’t mean that you have to finish it. Try performing fellatio as a lead-in to full-blown sex … or as a little teaser that tempts your sexual partner into taking you right then and there. It can also be a way to lubricate his shaft prior to penetration. Many who perform this act of oral pleasure do get turned on by it, so explore the possibility of becoming aroused by it.



5. You Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Although your mouth is your most useful asset for a blowjob, don’t forget what you can achieve by using your hands. Teasing the rest of his body will create major anticipation and appreciation. Use your hands to caress his nipples, legs, buttocks and pubic area, or set them to work on his testicles as you lick and suck his penis. Alternatively, what better way is there to turn him on than by having him watch you pleasure yourself as you go down on him?



Combining oral with manual stimulation is a great way to enhance intensity and increase variety. Try alternating oral and manual stimulation. Or, integrate your hands into the act of a blowjob by wrapping one or both of them around the penis. Alternatively, join your thumb to your index (or middle) finger – this will look like the “OK” hand gesture. As you enclose the tip of his penis with your lips, keep it close to your mouth; as you slide his shaft deeper into your mouth, your “OK” not only creates added stimulation, it can be used to continue down the length of the penis that your mouth doesn’t cover orally.



Final Thoughts

It pays to learn the secrets that will send him over the brink of ecstasy. When it comes to giving pleasure, use your assets and give your man the respect and attention you’d desire to receive yourself. Don’t forget to check out Sex Info’s guide to Fellatio Positions to get your creative juices flowing.

Best Sex Positions For Couples

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Top 10 reasons you wanted to be Sperm Testers

by Shelly Lomax


With more than 2,500 applications, we had to have some way of choosing the right couples, so we asked potential Sperm Testers why they thought they'd make good test subjects for our suck-it-and-see trial.

We receieved a mind-boggling selection of responses from eager couples, many of which gave a startling insight into their relationships. You can just imagine the pillow talk...

1 "We've dyed his pubic hair, made a cock mould and put Space Dust inside me."

2 "After gobbling the same goo for 13 years, I'd definitely notice any difference in taste."

3 "My partner is a smoker and I would appreciate anything that would change the bitter taste in his fluids."

4 "I love to cum on her face and drink it after."

5 "We love to make each other sponk by mouth, tongue, WHAHEY"

6 "They don't call me the Wacky Cum Swallower for nothing!"

7 "We are both fussy eaters trying to get our five a day fruit and veg :)!!!!"

8 "Jon can cum for England (he is very generous with his 'load')"

9 "Pam is in the middle of changing her pill and can't have intercourse for the next month. The only sexual fun we are going to have is oral."

10 "I know how Stephen's semen tastes better than my own saliva. I'd notice any differences."

Five easy steps to first-time anal sex

Loads of people secretly want to try anal sex, but even in this 'modern' age where people are becoming more open to erotic experimentation, anal sex still carries a taboo.

Yes there is a health risk if you don't use protection and yes there is a pain issue if you don't prepare yourself properly for penetration, but by following the five easy steps below your first approach to anal sex can be one of the most fulfilling sexual experiences you've ever had. So here's how to do it...



Step 1

Get clean! It goes without saying that if you're sexually stimulating an area that's usually devoted to daily ablutions, you will need to ensure that your anus is squeaky clean. Have a relaxing bath before hand and thoroughly clean the area.



If you're conscious about your lover seeing your anus in full for the first time, why not gently shave or wax the skin between your butt cheeks to make sure they're porn-flick worthy? You'll be surprised how much more relaxed and confident this will make you.



Step 2

Use lube! Don't even think about attempting any form of anal activity without using some form of lubricant. There's a raft of great lubes available for you to buy, but until you're ready to start experimenting with different types (heated, cooling, etc) you should stick with a specially formulated anal lubricant.

Try Aquaglide's Anal Lubricant , Astroglide Anal Shooters Lubricant or Anal Ease Anal Desensitising Cream , each of which are compatible for use with condoms, which is essential for any kind of anal penetration.

Step 3

Start small! If this is your first time trying anal sex, it makes sense to start off by using your lover's fingers to familiarize your anus with the feeling of penetration. You lover should start off with the tip of one finger, then slowly and gently work their finger in until the knuckle is submerged.



You should continue to do this with up to three fingers, but only if you're still feeling comfortable and pleasured. Don't forget to use lube on each finger you insert.



Step 4

Take it slow! OK, so your lover has been penetrating you with his fingers and you're loving it. Now comes the penis bit: make sure your lover's penis is well lubed and protected with a condom. Next, lie either on your tummy with a cushion underneath your pelvic bone or lie on your side.



Take one of your hands and use your fingers to pull your butt cheeks gently apart. This will help guide your lover into your anus without too much 'prodding,' making it a lot easier for both of you. Your lover should begin by slowly and gently inserting the tip of his penis into your anus. Remember that this will feel marginally painful because it is your first time (just like with first-time penetrative sex), but it will get easier. However, if you're in a great deal of pain or feel uncomfortable then ask your lover to stop immediately.



Once your lover has inserted the tip of his penis, ask him to gently penetrate your anus further but at a gentle pace that you feel comfortable with. Continue like this until your lover's penis is fully submerged and until you both orgasm. Some people don't experience an orgasm when trying anal sex for the first time, but the more you and your lover try anal sex the better it will get.



Step 5

After each time you've finished having sex, make sure that you thoroughly clean your anus. If you're experiencing soreness after anal sex, soak in a gorgeous warm bath and wear breathable cotton panties to bed.

by Shelly Lomax

Sex in Public - Without Getting Caught!

by Shelly Lomax


It's all about the situation: he's immune to seeing you naked pre-bedtime, but a flash of thigh by the roadside is unexpectedly voyeuristic. Learn how to have sex outside the confines of your home, without being arrested for indecent exposure!


The secret to loving lustily in the long term is to surprise each other sexually. Take sex outside of the bedroom and passion is instantly renewed. But although sex on the hood of the car, in the back of the bus, or on the MAX might seem raw and unromantic when you've a big, soft bed to roll around in contrast is key.

Standing positions are better for high-risk outdoors sex as you can easily extricate yourselves from the situation and make a run for it! Stand with your back to him, bend over and grab your legs or the nearest available surface. With him slipping his trousers down just a tad and you lifting your skirt, he can penetrate you and stimulate that nerve-packed God-that-feels-good front vaginal wall.

Sex in the midst's of nature is fun as you don't have to think about long term comfort. Fields, hedgerows, bushes and forests can be amazing locations but are not for the shy and retiring. If you're worried about being exposed, find a barn on a quiet farm and enjoy the shelter from the elements and prying eyes.

Choose your time carefully. Waking your partner up in the middle of the night, the day before an important business meeting is not going to end well. Wait for the weekend and take short naps throughout the day to build up your energy for later. Remember - early mornings are great for urban escapades as the streets are deserted but farmers get up at the crack of dawn to start work so avoid fields and country lanes between 3 and 7am!