My wife has put on weight, which I find unattractive. How can I discuss this without upsetting her?

by Shelly Lomax

You’re right to tread carefully - this is a tricky one. I think you have to be honest with your wife, but you also need to be hugely sensitive.

Question:

Just recently my wife has put on quite a bit of weight and I'm beginning to find myself less and less attracted to her. I love her to bits and don't want it to become a problem between us.

How can I discuss this with her without upsetting her?

Shelly says:

You’re right to tread carefully - this is a tricky one. I think you have to be honest with your wife, but you also need to be hugely sensitive - which from your question I can see that you are. Does the extra weight bother your wife herself?

If she’s depressed about it, then you can offer to support or even join her in a diet/exercise plan to get in shape again. It’ll be much easier for her to lose weight, and far less tempting for her, if you both eat the same foods - and you can help her get fit (and have some fun) by taking walks/bike rides/salsa classes together.

If she’s unaware of the effect it’s having upon you though, then you owe it to her to explain - very gently - how much you love her, but how the extra pounds are putting you off being as intimate with her as you want to be.

Tell her she’s still lovely, but that you don’t think she’s making as much of herself as she could. She then has the opportunity to do something about it - not just to recapture your desire, but for the sake of her health and self-image too.

Refreshingly frank and funny; Trimet employee, Shelly Lomax delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Sex Tips in the World explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.

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