What can I do to make my partner more willing to swallow my sperm?

by Shelly Lomax

By making sure it tastes as palatable as possible for her! Every guy has a different taste, which varies according to his diet.

Question:

What can I do to make my partner more willing to swallow my sperm?

Shelly Says:

By making sure it tastes as palatable as possible for her! Every guy has a different taste, which varies according to his diet. In general, sperm is on the salty side, so to sweeten your seed you should eat pineapple, strawberries, melon, celery - and drink lots of pineapple juice.

Reduce your intake of coffee, curry, salt, garlic, cigarettes and alcohol, as these make semen taste bitter and briny - and steer well clear of asparagus and too many dairy products. Also anything that dehydrates you - like antihistamines - won't help, so keep your intake of water as high as possible.

There’s a product called Bodymint (from www.revital.co.uk) which freshens the body from the inside out - so that may be worth a try too! It’s worth noting that semen could have anti-depressant qualities.

Tests have revealed that it contains a neurotransmitter called dopamine, which makes us feel happy, fulfilled and all warm and fuzzy - though this doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll want to swallow it three times a day!

Refreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Sex Tips in the World explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.

Do you have a question for Shelly?

Make Your Own Porn Movie With Female Porn Director Sophie Kinsella

by Shelly Lomax

On this week's Dirty Talk Show we have the extremely gorgeous and multi-talented Sophie Kinsella , female-friendly Porn Director and erotic author, talking about her kinky career and her top tips for how you can make your very own home porn movie!

You can buy Sophie Kinsella DVDs from me.

Shelly: Sophie Kinsella , to begin with, can you give Shelly's readers a brief overview of what your job entails?

Sophie Kinsella : Since 1998 I have been writing, directing and producing porn films with over 185 scenes made to date. My job includes everything from choosing the models, writing the scripts, camera work and overseeing the editing. In the last year I focused on setting up distribution, too.

SL: Why did you decide to get involved with the porn industry?

SK: Because I have always liked sex, because I knew it was important to add to women's understanding of their sexuality and because I am naturally experimental and this type of film allows you that space to experiment.

SL: How did you land your job as a porn director and what was your first job in the industry?

SK: I wrote my dissertation, 'Towards A Better Pornography,' in 1997 at St Martins school Of Art while studying Fine Art, Film and Video. I then tried to make my first feature porn film by myself, but I eventually started making programmes for Television X while working there full-time as an Editor making censor's cuts – ironically!

SL: You're a director of 'female friendly' porn. What exactly does that mean?

SK: It involves camera shoots from a female perspective angle as well as the male; good looking guys; believable/funny scenarios; eye contact; good styling; non degrading roles for women; fantasy or reality type scenarios (I do two types) and humour. I also don't sell films by body types, ie, big-titted women or by acts, ie, all anal because women don't think like that.

SL: Which film would you say is the best example of your work?

SK: There isn't one that's best – some scenes really work, some less so. My personal favourites vary, but I like A& O Department and Sophie Mates a lot.

SL: What tips can you give Shelly's readers about making their own home porn videos?

SK: I've written a whole book on the subject called Erotic Home Video – Make Your Own Erotic Films, which has loads of tips on the subject, but I would mainly say that you should both share using the camera and explore your point of view. Put it on auto, as you wont make a technical masterpiece anyway. Begin the scenario with a narrative, which can start with sneaky peaks outside, and if you're embarrassed try mimicking porn stars to get started and use POV (Point Of View) shots as they evoke real sex and can be very horny.

SL: And how would people get around the problem of not having their own camerman?

SK: You could set it up on a tripod/chest of drawers or use a mirror.

SL: So what is the steamiest sex scene you have ever directed?

SK: There have been many. I shot a girl on girl scene the other day where one of the girl's had never had sex with a girl before, and the other did fisting, was shagged by a foot and a bottle as well as other acts and she was totally keen to do these things. The energy between the two was a one off!

SL: Do you ever get turned on when directing a sex scene?

SK: Yes sometimes, when it's really good, but there's a lot of technical stuff to keep your mind on, too.

SL: Have you ever acted in any porn films yourself? If not, would you consider doing it?

SK: I have made home movies and would maybe consider a cameo one day, but I'm not sure. I'm not really that much of an exhibitionistic.

SL: Have you worked with any major porn celebrities?

SK: Some British stars such as Hannah Hartley, Mckenzie Lee, Alicia Rhodes, Steve Hooper, Tony Di Sergio, Nadia/Pixie and Angel Long, even Portland's own, Ron Jeremy at one time.

SL: Which porn actor/actress would you most love to direct and why?

SK: Belladonna, she is truly talented.

SL: If you could direct a porn film starring a Hollywood celebrity, who would it be and why?

SK: Hollywood doesn't really do it for me, I don't fancy any of them really!

SL: You mentioned earlier that you're involved in the casting process too, so what is the general casting procedure for a porn actor/actress?

SK: Male actors have to send in nude photos with erections and then audition wanking in a film (a bukkake or wanking in the background), and then in the next scene I will try them out on their own. A girl just needs to send in photos.

SL: Finally, what is your favourite sex toy and why is it your favourite?

SK: I can't remember the exact name but I have a Rabbit vibrator that has the Rabbit ears that tickle the bum, too. It makes the whole area between my clit and anus come alive.

See Sophie Kinsella DVDs at LoveBunny.

Adult Twister - Sex Games Series

by Shelly Lomax
Object
My version of Twister is a “get to know ya” game through and through. The aim for players is to maintain their balance (and composure) as they arrange themselves into a quagmire of suggestive poses.

Number of Players
You can take part with as little as two people, but one mat will fit as many as four. When you play at maximum capacity, it does make for a tight squeeze, but this isn’t a bad thing when you experiment with our adult edition. By adding additional mats, you can accommodate multitudes of Twister players...

What You’ll Need
You’ll require quantities of one or more of the original game of Twister. Ask your guests if they own one before you buy extras. If you’re prepared to try Pink Twister, you will also need supplies to modify the spinner board: scissors, pink paper and tape.

Ideal Participants
The most entertaining candidates for twister are those who are playful and physically fit. Oh yeah, they should have a really open mind and be comfortable with nudity (their own and others’). Players must be prepared to contort themselves into provocative positions while being up close and personal with other players.

How to Play
Twister is played on a big plastic mat that’s covered with rows of different colored dots. The mat serves as a game board and peoples’ bodies are the game pieces. Someone spins the Twister spinner and calls out one color and one of four body parts: left hand, right hand, left foot, right foot. Participants must then place their hand or foot onto the corresponding colored dot. Remember, no two people can share the same dot. Just like in the original game, participants are eliminated when they fall, or touch their knee or elbow to the mat. Here are a few adult variations of Twister:

Strip
Based on the same premise as {Strip Poker}, players remove an article of clothing each time they accidentally contact the mat. This is a great way to break the ice and lead up to what’s next on the list...

Nude
As the name clearly implies, nudity is the essence of this adult adaptation of Twister. Not only do players get an eyeful, they get to rub against one another and squeeze themselves into some outrageous poses; it begins to look a lot like they’re practicing what’s in our Sex Positions Guide. Because participants’ genitals will be intimately displayed, advise guests ahead of time so they can groom appropriately. Are you ready to try something even more arousing? Read on...

Pink
Create your own version of a Spinner Board by integrating the color pink into the wheel. This will represent players touching each others’ “pink”, also known as their genitals. You can stick with hands or feet, since it’s already built into the spinner board, but some participants may be averse to being touched by people’s feet; feel free to modify body parts. If your players are very receptive to this version of Twister, use oral commands (instead of body parts) when you land on “pink”, such as: suck, lick, flick and so on.

Rotating Players
We have a final suggestion to keep your Twister party brimming with excitement. Instead of using multiple mats to contain a large number of players, you may want to use the “tag” method. Just like in tag team wrestling, players can, at any point, tag a spectator to take their place; they can do so simply by calling their name. This expands the length of play, so that people don’t get naked too fast. It also keeps onlookers engaged (as if they wouldn’t be already!)

Spicing Up Your Sex Life

by Shelly Lomax

Keeping sex exciting can mean the difference between a good relationship and a mediocre one. But even if you're daring enough to have a late-night quickie on your in-law's kitchen table while they're sleeping, there are only so many ways to have intercourse. That is, unless you get a little kinky.
Many times, fellow office workers and employees come to me who've been together a long time. They've slipped into a rut of only having sex at the same time of day, in the same place, and in the same position. They're bored and want to know what to do about it.

Sometimes a change of venue works. But usually, no matter where they go, they wind up in the same lovemaking routine.

If you and your lover are open-minded and a bit adventurous, kinky sex can can be the ultimate answer for your sexual blahs. The problem is, everyone talks about it, but hardly anyone knows how to do it.

"I got Hank to read `The Story of O' with me one night," my client Elaine, a 31-year-old accountant, told me. "But then, when we got into bed all turned on, we wound up having the same old missionary sex we've been having for the past six years."

Elaine's experience is common. Kinky sex is exciting but bewildering. It's a world of primal fantasies, bizarre costumes, and scary-sounding terms like "B&D" (Bondage and Discipline) and "S&M" (Sadism and Masochism). `The Story of O' doesn't come with a Surgeon General's warning, and no one tells you how far to go or where to begin. Even sophisti- cated lovers find themselves lost.

Here's a short primer on exploring kinky sex.

First of all, it doesn't hurt to look. With your lover, read "More Joy," by Alex Comfort, "My Secret Garden" by Nancy Friday, or one of Anne Rice's "Sleeping Beauty" novellas. Or just peruse a catalogue of sexual paraphenalia together. If you both get turned on, you're probably ready to try a little kinky sex.

Whatever you try first, remember this: kinky sex is the opposite of normal sex, where you try to be spontaneous and close to your mate "in the moment." In successful kinky sex, you escape the here and now; you fly away on a fantasy or touch a deeply buried desire. Accomplishing this takes a little imagination, a bit of knowhow, and real planning. There's no such thing as spontaneous kinky sex. Without preparations, you can expect a failure, if not a real disaster, the first time you try kinky sex.

Rita, another of our operators, decided with her boyfriend on the spur of the moment to try a little lusty dominance and submission as a change to their usual sex. Trying to improvise, they spent 20 minutes looking for something to tie her up with so he could ravish her helpless body -- their agreed-upon fantasy.

They looked in the laundry and the yard and the garage for clothesline or rope and finally settled on some old belts in the closet. Finally, they got in bed. Playing the role of pirate/abductor, he growled, "Now, I'm going to tie you up and make love to you until you scream for mercy."

Unfortunately, as he was saying his opening line, he was busily wrapping a belt around her ankles. Rita cracked up. "How are you going to ravish me with my feet tied together?" she giggled, which made him feel criticized and turned off.

"I thought I was going to get to live out my rape fantasy in a safe way," she told me later. "Instead, we wound up having a half-hearted quickie just to get to sleep."

Rita's first attempt was a mild failure. Michael's was a disaster. He broke off the key in a pair of cheap handcuffs he had on his fiance and wasn't able to get her out of them until the next morning, when took her half-dressed to an amused locksmith.

Michael's experience is more than an example of what can go wrong in kinky sex without fully-tested props. It also illustrates that the people selling you sex toys can know less about kinky sex than you do.

A real expert at kinky sex would never use metal handcuffs. The whole turn-on in a "bondage" scene is being able to tug at your restraints and feel like you can't get away. No "B&D master" wants to leave his "slave" with bruised or cut wrists; he wants her happy and intact for another session.

The experts use soft leather cuffs which are snugged to your wrists with straps and snapped together with a metal clip, like at the end of a dog's leash. They're totally safe, totally fool-proof, and very professional -- the hallmark of all good kinky sex equipment.

Naturally, you won't want to invest in custom-made leather cuffs just to try a little bondage, so you can experiment very inexpensively by using small leather collars sold in pet stores, plus chrome clips sold in hardware stores.

If you want to try a dildo, you'll need to find a sex shop or order from a catalog such as "Xandria." For everything else, if you don't have a sex store nearby or feel uncomfortable in one, you can get started in a big department store like Sears. You can buy leashes and collars in the pet department, masks in the beauty department, vibrators in small appliances, and ropes and pulleys and hooks and chains in the hardware department.

Deciding what fantasy you want to act out, getting the equipment, and planning the scene together, as a couple, is part of the turn-on of kinky sex. Exotic sex experiments are two-person operations. The "getting ready" leads to anticipation and excitement and breaks through the barriers that keep both of you from imagining and then acting out beyond your usual sexual limits. Exotic sex is never a quickie, which is part of its allure.

Many couples' kinky sex play starts without any equipment at all. Even conservative lovers indulge in light scratching or even biting during orgasm. Light hand-spanking during sex, the mildest form of Sado-masochistic sex play, has been used since antiquity to heighten orgasm.

One of our mini runners also works as a prostitute over on 82nd and has a regular client who is turned on by spanking. "He has to have two women and all he wants to do is spank us," she told me. "It's a little silly, but he gives us each $150 three mornings a week. He puts us over his knee and spanks like crazy. Sometimes it really stings, and I cry, but I always show up next time at 6 a.m. sharp. Maybe it's more than the money," she finally admitted.

Many people enjoy mild pain as a regular part of sex. "I always like my nipples pinched when I come," Gail, a client, told me. "And then that wasn't enough. Charlie and I bought S&M magazines and he began to get more ideas. I discovered I liked to be spanked, tied up, even humiliated. Once, Charlie tied me up, led me around the house on a leash, and made me eat off a plate on the floor.

The kind of things Gail and Charlie do aren't for everyone. They take a special kind of understanding and trust, a sense of adventure and a mutuality of sexual desires.

For almost anything beyond light spanking, it's important to discuss who will be in charge. One of you should be the leader and one the follower, or you can take turns. If you both have different fantasies, decide who gets to act out their fantasy first.

Next, comes actually living your fantasy. Make sure the two of you are alone and won't be disturbed (or disturb others). It's best if you can find privacy at home. If not, think about going away for the experience.

Before you start, tell your partner exactly what you're going to do. This gives your partner a chance to object, and also to anticipate.

For example, tell your partner, "I'm going to tie your hands up high and then I'm going to spank you with my hand until your bottom turns pink. Then I'm going to tickle you all over with feathers while you're helpless." Or, "I'm going to tie you spread-eagled on the bed, blindfold you, and use the vibrator on your body until you beg for mercy."

Then you have to prepare ahead of time for whatever you've promised. Test ahead of time to see if the vibrator cord reaches the wall socket, the wrist cuffs and clips work, and the feathers are within reach. In a bondage and disciple fantasy, the master or mistress must be truly dominant; if he or she has to go searching for an extension cord or fumbling for the feathers, the spell is broken.

Once they get started, most couples find that exotic sex play is so exciting they automatically begin to think of new more exotic improvements for next time.

There's nothing perverted or wrong about experimenting with sex in a loving manner, no matter what you do -- so long as both partners are willing, over 21, and no serious pain is involved or injury of any kind is inflicted. Mild pain is okay, as long as it's during intense sexual arousal when it's experienced as pleasure. That's why "Joy of Sex" recommends immediate release from bondage following orgasm. Since the excited state has ended, bondage could then be experienced as pain.

In almost any kind of kinky sex, but especially in S&M and B&D fantasies, there is one essential step of planning which must never be forgotten: the "code word." For the submissive partner to have his or her fantasy take wing, he or she must be able to shout, "Oh, please no. Stop!" -- and still be unable to escape the delights of their sexual torment. Yet they must be able to instantly communicate if they're feeling real pain or actually need to stop for any reason. That's what a "code word" is for. Discuss this with your partner, pick a word which is unlikely to come up in the planned fantasy, memorize it, and stop immediately if you hear it.

One of the less-obvious dangers of exotic sex is that you get used to having a more exciting, different, fantasy type of sex and find regular romantic sex somehow lacking. For that reason, some couples become involved in kinky sex as a way of life, making a lifestyle of swinging, cross-dressing, S&M and even piercing.

To avoid becoming fixated or needing kinkier and kinkier sex, occasionally devote the same effort you'd invest in an exotic fantasy into an evening of old-fashioned romantic sex. Include flowers, candlelight and sexy foods, forget your fantasies for the evening and concentrate on being close with your real lover.

Since the trickiest part of kinky sex is getting started, here are some guidelines which will help.

Safe And Sane Kinky Sex Rules


1. Talk about what you're going to do ahead of time, and be sure that it turns you both on.



2. Plan ahead, even deciding on special music. Try out your equipment ahead of time. Test everything, and make sure it's in an easy-to-reach place so you don't fumble around in the dark.


3. Don't spend a lot of money trying kinky sex. In the beginning, thick yarn is just as good as ropes or chains, is less scary, and can be just as exciting. Keep a scissors handy to cut the yarn quickly instead of trying to undo stuck knots.


4. Try different roles and different kinds of kinky sex like silks, leathers, feathers, spanking. You don't want to get fixated at one level and never be able to enjoy sex any other way.


5. Never indulge in sado-masochistic or bondage sex play when you're angry with each other or when your relationship is having other problems which could run over into your erotic games.


6. Never leave a bound or gagged person alone, and never block a person's breathing passages.


7. Never cross the line into real pain or hurting. Be sure to agree on a "code word" that means STOP, and always stop instantly when you hear it.

How to Make a Woman Ejaculate - These Tips Will Make Any Woman Chase You Around Like Crazy

By Shelly Lomax

There are generally two kinds of women - those who are sexually introverted and those who can readily squirt their juices without much sweating on your part. If you are stuck with the first kind, consider it some sort of a manly challenge that you need to accomplish.

When you walk up to your girl and mention the word orgasm, chances are you will be met with negative reactions. Some women may have never even heard of such term, and they consider it real rude when men talk to them in that manner. So the challenge here is to turn things around and make her realize that there is more to sex than just the casual humping and grinding.

To get her in tune with her sexuality, you must know how to make a woman ejaculate. This is an experience that she will never forget. If you can bring her to the state of orgasm, then rest assured she'll stay with you through thick and thin.

There is not much difference between peeing and ejaculating when it comes to a woman. This is because both the liquid produced are expelled from the place called the urethra. If this is her first time ejaculating, she might not have that much control over her pubic muscles, making it difficult to hold back her pee.

That's okay. Don't let it bother you. Act as if you're completely enjoying the sight of her urinating right before your eyes. Once she has developed the ability to make sense of what's going on, she will squirt real orgasm juices minus the pee material.

There is still no better way to make her soaking wet, than with the g-spot and clitoris stimulation. These two are key on how to make a woman ejaculate. You should always begin the evening with wild foreplay. To get her pumped, lick her clitoris until she begins moaning and doing crazy facial expressions. With your palms facing upward, stick two fingers inside the entrance and search around for a round object inside which is the g-spot.

Never stop licking while you're groping around for the g-spot. This calls for some multi-tasking skills which you need to learn for successful lovemaking. Keep stroking the g-spot, varying the pressure from time to time until she finally ejaculates under your nose.

A technique to make her clitoris more pronounced is to press gently the space between her pubic hair and navel. She might say that she's about to pee but that's not going to happen. That's just the sensation she feels because of too much excitement. Tell her to simply let go and that you don't mind her "peeing". It is at this point that you will be greeted with a warm gush of water that for her, is an experience like no other.

Also pay close attention to this,

If you aren't already well-endowed, this is a surefire way to improve how satisfying you are in bed. A long, thick penis will Stimulate Her G-Spot And make your woman climax MUCH more easily than an average or below-average one. Yes It Is True!

My wife has put on weight, which I find unattractive. How can I discuss this without upsetting her?

by Shelly Lomax

You’re right to tread carefully - this is a tricky one. I think you have to be honest with your wife, but you also need to be hugely sensitive.

Question:

Just recently my wife has put on quite a bit of weight and I'm beginning to find myself less and less attracted to her. I love her to bits and don't want it to become a problem between us.

How can I discuss this with her without upsetting her?

Shelly says:

You’re right to tread carefully - this is a tricky one. I think you have to be honest with your wife, but you also need to be hugely sensitive - which from your question I can see that you are. Does the extra weight bother your wife herself?

If she’s depressed about it, then you can offer to support or even join her in a diet/exercise plan to get in shape again. It’ll be much easier for her to lose weight, and far less tempting for her, if you both eat the same foods - and you can help her get fit (and have some fun) by taking walks/bike rides/salsa classes together.

If she’s unaware of the effect it’s having upon you though, then you owe it to her to explain - very gently - how much you love her, but how the extra pounds are putting you off being as intimate with her as you want to be.

Tell her she’s still lovely, but that you don’t think she’s making as much of herself as she could. She then has the opportunity to do something about it - not just to recapture your desire, but for the sake of her health and self-image too.

Refreshingly frank and funny; Trimet employee, Shelly Lomax delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Sex Tips in the World explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.

Do you have a question for Shelly?

Try a Bit of Bondage

Getting tied up instantly boosts the sexual energy because it brings in the element of vulnerability. "When you're bound, you're completely at the mercy of your partner's urges, which is exciting. Plus, you can focus entirely on being pleasured since you're not able to reciprocate.
Naughty move: Lie on the bed with your hands tied together, and let him devour you. Have him start with a tease by holding his first and second fingers in a V, placing them on either side of your clitoris, and massaging in a scissoring motion. Then he can use side-to-side motions with his tongue to get you really worked up. "A lot of guys go up and down, but that makes for more pressure on such a sensitive spot, which can be too intense," says sex educator Jamye Waxman. "Side to side feels more relaxing and arousing."

Even naughtier move: Have him tie your hands with a scarf and hang them on a hook on his door (the kind you would hang your coat or towel on) before he tantalizes you with oral. Since you'll feel totally like his sex toy, you can add to the arousal of being restrained by begging him to "release" you and let you orgasm. "Playing up that he's in control and responsible for getting you off is a huge turn-on," says Cynthia W. Gentry, author of the forthcoming book What Women Really Want in Bed. He can use his power to either allow you to climax or withhold stimulation for a tortuous minute.

Give Him a Peep Show

Much of arousal is driven by what we see — especially for guys. "Many men love watching a woman get turned on. It lets them know what gets her going and makes them feel like they're doing something illicit by just sitting back and enjoying the show," says sexologist Sari Locker, PhD, author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex. "And it's great for women too. Seeing how a guy reacts to watching you pumps up your desire."

Naughty move: On a night your guy is coming over to hang out, masturbate alone just before you're going to see him, but don't let yourself climax. To bring yourself right to the edge without going over, close your eyes and imagine your guy's lips taking the place of your hand. Squeeze your PC muscles for a count of five as you massage your clitoris, then stop moving. Stay naked until he shows up, and let him see the flush that naturally spreads over your body as you near orgasm. Then describe for him what you've been up to. He'll put together an irresistible mental image of you self-pleasuring that will build his desire so that when you have sex, it'll be an incredible release for you both.

Even naughtier move: Before a date, entice your guy over to your place early, and let him watch you masturbate before you leave for the evening, telling him he can have his turn later. "He'll think it's hot to get this intimate peek, which allows his own arousal to surge," explains Debby Herbenick, PhD, author of Because It Feels Good. Do it seated in front of a mirror with him behind you so that he has a great view of the action as well as a nice shot of your ass. Start by touching your nipples with one hand and rubbing a thigh with your free one. Then stimulate your lower area, moving your fingers faster and faster as you get turned on. Don't let him interrupt. Instead, tell him you expect him to finish where you left off when you get home.

by Shelly Lomax