Advanced Toys for Great Sex

by Shelly Lomax

Summary

This explicit guide is like going to a really good sex toy party. If you haven’t had the occasion to attend one or you feel shy or uncomfortable doing so, Advanced Toys for Great Sex is an awesome and informative way to introduce you to sex toys. This video alternates between a panel of specialists discussing a series of toys and attractive real life couples demonstrating their intended use.

You do get something with this show that you wouldn’t with a sex toy party; you actually get to see the products being used. Considering what I’ve seen happen at toy parties, the ladies are so hyped up about the goodies they bought, but go home without all of the confidence or knowledge necessary to successfully integrate them into their solo or partner play. It is a huge advantage to see a toy demonstrated for its intended use; the more you know how to utilize it correctly, the more it adds value to your experience!

The first topic that the panel considers is ‘Vibrators’. They then delve into ‘Dildos’ and follow with ‘Anal Toys’. The conversation turns to ‘Orgasms & Toys’ and proceeds to ‘Lubes’. ‘Sex Furniture’ is explored and afterwards attention is turned to ‘Great Toys for Great Sex’. The last bit of footage includes a few more sexual scenes featuring toy play and concludes with a trip to the ‘Sex Toy Expo’ with Ian and Alicia (the owners of the sex toy store, Freddy and Eddy).

Presentation (7.5/10)
The overall presentation of this production was fairly good; this video is a much better production than the last one that I saw by the Alexander Institute. Here we had a set that looked professionally staged, clear introductions from each panel member, good scene transitions and a host who, on the whole, directed the flow of the show.

I appreciated the diversity of the panel; here we had a sex therapist, who appeared to be the host of the show, the owners of a toy store and an editor from XBIZ magazine (an adult industry news and information source). For, the most part I enjoyed this team of experts, but I felt that they had a peculiar chemistry.

Now, they’re all authorities in their respective fields, yet they were explaining how the devices worked and illustrated concepts to one another in a way that a teacher would to someone with little knowledge of a subject. It seemed like the addressee would get a bit impatient and jump in with what they knew about the topic. I think they really ought to have talked to the camera. This dynamic really detracted from my overall impression of the panel. If this method of discussion really appeals to the directing team, then at least get a host who doesn’t really know anything about these topics so that information gets disseminated genuinely. This is done on live news and talk shows and it is much more effective.

One aspect that I really liked came at the end of the production when you get to come along with Ian and Alicia to the Sex Expo. Leading up to this, the group had a great discussion about what’s emerging in the industry and how much new stuff is coming out every day! This segment really gave me the sense of the action and momentum that the industry is taking.

The video does have re-play potential, but more so as a means of titillation via the sex scenes rather than as an actual reference. On this note, you will need to refer back to it if there were any toys that you’d like to get more information on. They referred to about 5% of the products by name so you’ll have a bit of work cut out for you!

Content Quality (7.5/10)
The show did provide a decent sex toy overview. I liked that they thoroughly discussed and demonstrated a wide variety of materials such as silicone, metal, glass, wood and granite. There was an interesting range of styles, some notables including: disguised vibes, harnesses and sex furniture. My favorite one was the vibrating egg that is triggered by someone answering a cell phone within 12 meters of you!

The panel drew awareness to the design features in a toy that affect successful g-spot stimulation, such as the stiffness of the device, curve of shaft, length of wand and the size of the bulbous head. They also focused on useful items for anal masturbation such as prostate stimulators, anal plugs and beads.

Sex Appeal (7/10)
The demonstrations in the video will definitely stir up excitement. The couples, which the Alexander Institute claims are real matchups, were attractive; they seemed like they were genuinely enjoying their toys and each other.

There were a few money shots that are worth watching. Not only were they arousing, they portrayed some interesting scenarios that demonstrated the variety and the scope that you could achieve with sex toys.

One that I’ve never seen before in an educational video was a man getting penetrated by his lady, who had donned a harness with a dildo on the end. It was great to see this particular situation being played out because male penetration is something that many women are curious about trying, but not sure how to approach it with their men. What I thought was interesting was that she seemed like she was enjoying the experience more than him. In my opinion, she could have reached around and given him a hand job to take his mind off his behind.

One of my favorite scenes was when all of the female’s ‘Big 3’ (clitoris, vagina and anus) were being ‘toyed’ with at the same. I think anal beads would have been useful to demonstrate rather than large anal balls. Part of the hot thing about anal play is the feeling of the anus being stimulated, particularly when you’re coming; it would have been really cool to show him pulling them out one by one while she was coming, rather than popping them out post-orgasm.

My other choice scene was of the man getting a hand job by his girlfriend with a masturbation sleeve. I think those sleeves are underrated for couples’ use and I’m glad they showed it; those sleeves just make hand jobs so easy, especially if he needs extra stimulation.

What took the cake for me were the 2 sex machine demos! With both the Sybian and the Monkey Rocker, the female started off solo and was then joined by her partner for play. I think that there is a great opportunity to experience the sensation of dual penetration with these items, which is an advantage for couples who don’t want a 3rd party in the mix.

Video Quality (7/10)
On the whole the video quality was reasonably good. The scenes transitioned well and I liked that they incorporated quick visuals of a few of the toys in action as the panel discussed them. They made use of different camera angles during the sex toy chats, but the quality of filming could have been better. There were also a couple of sections that were staged in a different location from the original set and you’ll see that the quality in those segments did suffer. The sex demonstrations were professionally done and staged well, but there were 1 or 2 whose impact was poorer than the rest.

Audio Quality (8/10)
The audio quality of this production was reasonably professionally done. They made use of appropriate instrumental-only music during the sex demonstrations but the buzzing sound of some of the vibrators competed heavily with the background music! On the other hand, the volume of the toy was honestly represented.

Extra Features (6/10)
The extra features were the standard ones that are included in the Loving Sex productions; tips from a sex coach, general sexuality information and web links. There were previews available for all of the Loving Sex productions as well as a bonus scene. The bonus scene seemed rather amateur and the plot and dialogue weren’t cohesive, but it is an extra love scene nonetheless.

Overall Score (7.2/10)
With the vast range of sex toys emerging in the industry, a person might feel overwhelmed and inundated when choosing one that’s right for them. This video guides you through the vast array of options and helps you discover how to incorporate them into your lovemaking. ‘Advanced Toys for Great Sex’ is a tasteful and pleasurable resource that is definitely worth checking out!

To Order
If you would like more information on Advanced Toys for Great Sex, or would like to order, call me at (503)962-4856.

Ideal (Personal Massager)

by Shelly Lomax
Sex Counselor for Trimet

The Ideal has the very discreet signature shape of the Natural Contours product line; however, the noise level totally gives it away...

Description and Materials
The Ideal is comprised of an ABS plastic body and a soft silicone spring head. Latex free as well as phthalates free, the safety of this product’s material is definitely an encouraging feature. The dimensions are 8 inches long with an approximate diameter of 2.5 inch wide; it feels a tad heavy but its wand can be gripped with the whole hand. The Ideal Massager has two very powerful speed settings, but with only the one vibe setting - continuous with no pulsation. The head of the massager is spring loaded and bends from side to side very easily.

The unique design of the handle threw me off at first, but I soon discovered its true purpose; it’s a very ergonomic and comfortable way to hold the vibrator when there is an attachment on it. Although I’m left-handed, I found that the handle was comfortable to hold in either hand; moreover, the vibe speed switch was easy to access.

Packaging
I wasn’t swept away by the packaging, but I did appreciate that it was tasteful as well as simple. It didn’t come with a storage bag but I did like that the wand fit easily into its molded container in the box. There weren’t a lot of instructions included but, then again, the wand is really easy to pick up and start using. Be sure that you charge it for the minimum amount of time before using it.

How it Works

The Ideal can be used to massage all parts of the body as well as stimulate the erogenous zones. I found that I loved how the Ideal felt when I used it to massage my erogenous zones as well as my arms, legs and buttocks; however, it produced an extremely uncomfortable sensation when it came too close to my spine, shoulders and back muscles. Even when set to low, the vibration was so strong that it felt like it rattled my eyeballs and jangled my skeleton. If you want to give someone a sensual massage with this device, make sure you use a gentle hand and stick to the extremities and soft parts, unless that person happens to enjoy a much more vigorous touch (as a man might).

Who it’s For
The Ideal would be an excellent choice for a person who wants to be discreet about the sex toys that they own; even if the Ideal was discovered among someone’s things, it wouldn’t necessarily sound the alarm bells as to its potential sexual purpose. Further to that, the Ideal’s incredibly intensive stimulation would be excellent for a person who doesn’t get enough stimuli from an average vibrator: its vibe is very powerful and for some, this is exactly what some people need to experience orgasm.

My first impression was that the Ideal would be a perfect item for someone whose taste was more ‘vanilla’. It has no baubles, no tricks and no flashy lights. Although it is incredibly unintimidating and highly intuitive, I would be concerned that the sheer strength of the buzz would scare a novice off sex toys completely.

Critique
My evaluation of this item is somewhat mixed… There were a few features that I absolutely loved about the Ideal. Firstly, it doesn’t run on batteries and can be plugged into the wall to be recharged. Secondly, its sleek and inconspicuous shape will delight those who want to keep their play to themselves or, alternatively, those who merely don’t dig the ‘bunnies’ or the pearls of other vibrators.

I was very disappointed that the head rattled loudly when it wasn’t held upright; I found this really frustrating, particularly since the Ideal was already quite loud. This was my first experience with a spring-head personal massager and I found it to be less than satisfactory. It was unfortunate because there was so much potential for this product to be a standard part of a person’s pleasure chest. This is definitely one I would warn a friend about before buying.

Back on the positive side, the G-Plus attachment significantly made up for the Ideal’s drawbacks. I found myself totally drawn to using it once I had gotten the add-on; in fact I actually picked this one over some of my usual favorites on a number of occasions. I think that it would useful for the Ideal to come with at least one attachment included with the wand. Lucky for me, I had received the two of them together anyway but an average person may not have bothered buying a complementary item if they didn’t enjoy their experience with the underlying product. As they’re currently sold separately, I highly recommend that if you purchase the Ideal get it together with the G-Plus attachment.

Final Thoughts
I hate to give a product with such potential such a low score, but I have to rate it a 4.5/10 on its own and 7.5/10 when used with an attachment. Despite the fact that it has an excellent design, it is heavy, noisy and isn’t set with a better range of vibration strength. You’ll get more of a return on your money when you add an optional add-on.

Female Masturbation Guide

by Shelly Lomax of Trimet
Masturbation gives women the opportunity to explore their body while at the same time giving them a high degree of sexual freedom. It allows them the opportunity to experience sexual pleasure without relying on a partner, and to release sexual tension when they feel the need to.

Masturbation can be a very empowering learning tool for women - it teaches them about their bodies, and how it responds to sexual stimulation. Many normal and healthy women only experience Orgasm while masturbating, or find it is their most intense type of orgasm. Masturbation is the first and most important sexual skill a woman should learn, as it holds the key to enjoying other forms of sexual activity. Ideally, this skill is commenced early in life (preferably prior to the age of five), but far too often it is not learned until a woman is in her late teens or early twenties. This stems from the incorrect notion that children are entirely devoid of sexuality and that they must be protected from its 'evils'. Children, especially infants, are incredibly curious individuals who will undoubtedly discover masturbation on their own. A parent, if they discover their child masturbating, should not chastise them for it, but rather, tell them about appropriate private and public behaviour.

However, not all women have negative views of masturbation, nor indeed do all women feel the need to masturbate. The point is that women are increasingly developing more positive attitudes towards masturbation and the pleasure it can bring them. If given the opportunity, women will often discuss their masturbation habits with pride, without the least amount of guilt.

Common Misconceptions
In spite of the sexual revolution, female masturbation is still somewhat taboo. Even though popular songs, movies and television make mention of female masturbation, it is not a common topic of discussion. People are more likely to make mention of Male Masturbation than female. It is a given that males masturbate, but for females, even though it might be commonly accepted that they do it, they are not expected to. If a woman does not know that her peers masturbate and that they presume that she does, she is less likely to do it ... or if she does, she feels guilty for doing so. Since many women do not generally talk about it, it is often presumed that they do not masturbate.

Another common misconception of women is that if they have a partner, they should not feel the need to masturbate. Or if they are single, that masturbating would reinforce their single status; in other words, if they were not single, they would not have to masturbate. So instead of masturbating, some go in search of a partner. This is not the best solution and typically results in unfulfilled desires.

Since masturbation is seen as a "solo" activity, some women with partners do not feel it is appropriate for them to masturbate. If they have a partner, it is believed that their sexual activities with them should fulfil all their sexual needs. While a nice ideal, in real life a lot of women's sexual needs are not met fully by their partner, no matter how good and loving a partner they have. For women with partners, it is important that they understand that it is perfectly healthy and normal for them to masturbate, and they should do so without feeling guilty. For many women the frequency with which they masturbate should not change when they go from being single to having a sexual partner. Some women may find they masturbate even more when they have a partner, as having a partner makes them feel more sexual, and increases their desire for sex and sexual pleasure.

While it is certainly untrue, the majority of people believe that women are less sexual than men. We are led to believe that women think about sex and desire sex much less. Society creates outcasts of women who are openly sexual. This results in women believing they should not have strong sexual feelings and desires. Unfortunately, many women are ashamed to admit they become ‘horny’. This results in women introverting and denying their own sexual feelings and desires. While a woman's desire for sex may change with time as the result of hormonal influences, they are overall just as sexual as men. If a woman accepts that she is equally as sexual as a man, she is more likely to feel comfortable with her desire to masturbate.

Why Masturbate?
The main reason a woman should masturbate is because it feels good. Women with strong sex drives may masturbate frequently, but a woman should not forgo masturbating just because she does not have a strong sex drive. Even if she has no desire for partner sex, she should still enjoy giving herself pleasure. The fact that pre-adolescent girls masturbate proves that hormonally induced sex drives are not the only reason to masturbate; young girls do it for no other reason than it feels good. There is nothing wrong with a woman giving herself pleasure on a daily basis, or as often as she desires. For masturbation to be pleasurable it does not have to end in orgasm. Masturbation may involve nothing more than placing your hands against your vulva when you go to sleep at night, simply because it feels good.

There are times in all relationships when a partner is not available for sex when you desire it, even when they sleep beside you. Couples frequently have different levels of sex drive, and expectations regarding physical intimacy. This is why women frequently masturbate secretively in the shower, or masturbate silently in the early morning hours while their sleeping partner lies beside them. Masturbating when you have a partner is normal and a woman should not feel ashamed for doing so. Most women have probably done it at some point in their relationship. It is often a necessity. Forgoing masturbation and sexual pleasure when you need it simply because you have a partner does harm to you and your relationship, because you will slowly begin to blame them for your sexual frustration. As your sexual frustration grows, so does your frustration with the relationship.

If a woman does not know how to sexually satisfy herself, then how can she expect her partner to know? Learning about her own body, how it responds and then teaching this to her partner is a great way to ensure that she gets the most out of her whole sexual experience. Don’t be shy ladies … share that knowledge and you will never regret it!

Masturbation Techniques
Women and girls masturbate in an endless list of ways. Common methods are, massaging of the clitoris with hands and fingers, rubbing the vulva up against pillows, bed cloths, stuffed animals and furniture, etc. The vagina appears to play a limited role in the masturbation practices of women, but vaginal penetration during masturbation is by no means unusual or uncommon. Some women employ anal and/or nipple stimulation in addition to clitoral and vaginal stimulation.

It is important to understand that there is no "correct" or "right" way to masturbate. Some women feel they should be able to masturbate to orgasm using a different or more correct method because they hear other women do it that way. It is important to keep in mind that each woman's anatomy is slightly different and her psychological makeup is quite different. This results in every woman masturbating differently, even if they use the same basic technique. While some women can masturbate to orgasm employing several different techniques, others find they can reach orgasm only when they use the same method each time. There is nothing wrong with this. Due to conditioning and the differences in women's bodies, learning new techniques for some can be difficult. If you are orgasmic with your current masturbation technique, feel free to experiment, but do not feel you have to reach orgasm in other ways. Remember, masturbation is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, no matter how you do it.

Here are some tips for the beginner - or anyone looking to improve their repertoire:

The Beginner
When you have relaxed your body lie on a bed, or sit in a comfortable chair, and explore your nude or semi-nude body. Run your fingers and hands across your body. Explore your breasts and play with your nipples; caress your legs and thighs. Cup your vulva in your hand and gently rub in small circles. Stimulate your body, but do not try to reach orgasm. Make yourself feel good. If you feel yourself get tense, stop what you are doing, breath deeply and relax. Do this exercise as often as possible, but for no longer than 20 minutes per session. Do not tire or stress yourself out. The point of this exercise is to make you feel good while staying relaxed, not to have an orgasm. You want to feel a little aroused, but at peace - not compelled to go further.

After you become comfortable exploring and touching your body you will want to try more direct means of stimulating your vulva. Slip your fingers between the folds of your vulva and massage and play with your inner labia, perhaps pulling on them lightly or firmly. Slip your fingers up to the top of your vulva and place them on top of your clitoris. Gently move your fingers up and down, around, and perhaps even wildly jiggle them. Make the loose tissue covering your clitoris slide across the body and glans of your clitoris. If you feel a need to be filled, insert a finger or two into your vagina. You want to make yourself feel really good, but you do not want to intentionally try to have an orgasm. If an orgasm occurs, you want it to be a total surprise. If you are thinking about having an orgasm, you need to slow down, relax, and redirect your thoughts. You do not want your brain to know you are about to have an orgasm.

You may not experience orgasm the first few times, so do not try to. Just enjoy the pleasures of touching yourself. If you get to a point where you suddenly find your body is super-tense, you are trying too hard. Try to enjoy yourself, not orgasm. You want to surprise yourself with an orgasm. If you feel yourself on the verge of orgasm, but cannot get there, you are probably trying too hard; you cannot force your body to have an orgasm. The more you concentrate on trying to have an orgasm, the less likely you are to have one.

Clitoral Stimulation
Using your hands and fingers, stimulate (rub, stroke, pinch, etc) the clitoris with one or more fingers or the palm of your hand. Some find direct contact with the clitoris too intense, and prefer stimulation near or around the clitoris. Others prefer to have a layer of clothing or some other fabric between the hand and clitoris. Try it both ways and see what works best for you.

G-Spot Stimulation
Inserting a vibrator or dildo into the vagina can help locate and stimulate your G-spot and offers a feeling of fullness in the vagina. You can locate your G-spot with your fingers, but it's difficult to provide adequate stimulation through manual masturbation. Women who enjoy stimulation of the G-spot usually employ sexual toys to make it easier and more enjoyable.

Vibrators
Vibrators are used primarily for clitoral stimulation, though many women also use them for vaginal or anal stimulation. They also may be combined with other toys and used in any number of positions. A good, discrete alternative to a vibrator for clitoral or anal stimulation is a massage wand. However, massage wands cannot be used for vaginal or anal penetration. To check out a wide selection of sex toys, please see our Sex Toy Reviews.

Common, Everyday Objects
Rub your clitoris against any soft, non-abrasive object (e.g., a pillow, the corner of a couch, etc.) and see if you enjoy the stimulation it provides.

Showers
A detachable shower-head can be quite scintillating for just about any woman. The best shower available is the ones with the versatile control that switches the water from a steady stream to a pulsating jet spray. In hot tubs, avoid sending strong streams of water into the vagina; in extreme cases this can cause fatal air embolism!

Play O (UTOPIA) Orgasmic Gel by Durex
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Conclusion
In closing, there is no right way to masturbate and there is no specific number of times you should do it per week. As long as you feel comfortable with the frequency at which you masturbate and the pleasure it provides you, then keep on doing it. Masturbation is normal and should be pleasurable, so find out what you like the best and then show your partner, if you have one, how they can help please you properly.